increasing number of students are going to university instead of working after high school. Discuss advantages and disadvantages for young people who do this and give your opinion.

Recent
trend
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trends
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indicate that more and more tutees prefer getting enrolled in the university right after finishing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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high school
studies
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apply
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.
This
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scenario has some pros and cons which will be discussed in the
below paragraphs
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paragraphs below
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,
alongwith
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along with
my opinion in the conclusion. One major advantage of
this
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mindset is that the children will complete their
education
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early in their life
which
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, which
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will allow them to have ample amount of time to focus on their career growth.
Moreover
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, in many cases, where the children have started working before their graduation,
are
Correct pronoun usage
they are
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not likely to rejoin their academics.
This
Linking Words
statement could be well supported with the help of an example. As mentioned in the newspaper, based on the survey performed by the municipality of Ontario, a significant number of students have never resumed their
education
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after taking a break to explore the professional world. Despite
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this
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these
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benefits,
this
Linking Words
particular trend
also
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has some demerit points as well.
Firstly
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,
an
Correct article usage
apply
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exposure to the working environment will more likely allow them to choose a better career option, which makes it increasingly valuable nowadays. Meaning, it would be a huge disappointment for the high school graduates, if the job they will get after the university does not match
to
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apply
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their expectations.
Secondly
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, working for short periods in between the studies will allow
the
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apply
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people to gather some funds for higher
education
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, which could be expensive sometimes.
This
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trend has become more common in recent years as
the
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apply
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children do not want to give a financial burden to their parents. From the
above mentionned
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above-mentioned
points, it could be concluded that continuing the
education
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without a break offers some benefits
but
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, but
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the future consequences are much more grave and serious
which
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, which
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are mandatory to be considered before taking a firm decision. I would
definetely
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definitely
prefer a short break after in-between
the
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apply
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studies, which could facilitate the younger generation in
nuturing
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nurturing
a fruitful future.

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task response
Plan before you write. Start with a clear view. For this task, write a short intro, then 2 body parts for pros and cons, and a clear end with your view.
coherence
Link ideas with easy words. Use words that show order, like first, next, also, but, however.
coherence
The intro and conclusion exist but can be stronger. State the plan in the intro and restate your view in the end.
coherence
Main ideas should be backed with reasons or facts. Use examples that fit the topic. The Ontario example is okay but check facts.
grammar
Avoid long and unclear phrases. Use short, clear words. check spelling and word choice.
task response
Give a clear view. Do not mix too many ideas in one line. Keep one idea per paragraph.
structure
The writer gives a clear view at the end.
content
The article speaks on both sides and adds an example.
structure
The intro shows topic and plan.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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