IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Nowadays, it is still common to use animals
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 scientific reasons by conducting experiments on them. In my opinion, it should be strictly forbidden in most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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spheres;
however
Linking Words
, sometimes these experiments may be useful when talking about
such
Linking Words
 crucial problems as cancer treatment.
In addition
Linking Words
, people should definitely put more effort
to find
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into finding
show examples
 alternatives to
this
Linking Words
 process. On the one hand, a lot of beauty companies tend to abuse animals for testing
reasons
Check wording
purposes
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, huge numbers of rats, rabbits and other species used for these tests experience stress and health problems as
Correct article usage
a results
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results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
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.
For instance
Linking Words
,
world famous
Use the right word
world-famous
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 company Johnson & Johnson conducts
this
Linking Words
 experimentation for cosmetics, creams, shower gels, shampoos
etc
Punctuation problem
, etc
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.
Accordingly
Linking Words
, animal rights activists frequently show opposition and protest against
such
Linking Words
 methods.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, scientists
also
Linking Words
 use rodents to achieve
an
Correct article usage
the
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 eternal goal of humanity to find proper cancer or AIDs medicine. Most
likely
Punctuation problem
likely,
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 the progress on
this
Linking Words
 work would be significantly slower with an absence researches that describe the treatment effects seen on animals. As an example,
american
Fix capitalization
American
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bilogists
Correct your spelling
biologists
 recently found a certain DNA part, specifically the protein,
that is
Linking Words
 responsible for
possibility
Correct article usage
the possibility
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 of having AIDs or HIV. To prove the theory, the scientists cut
this
Linking Words
 protein out of several
mice’
Check wording
mice’s
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 DNA
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the result was extremely positive.
Hence
Linking Words
, the research provided a powerful push to global science. Summing up, even though a lot of
fauna
Check wording
animal
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representors
Correct your spelling
representatives
 experience awful treatment in the laboratories without a strong reason for that, in certain conditions
Punctuation problem
, the
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the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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usage
Use the right word
use
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of
Change preposition
apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is inevitable to make crucial scientific discoveries.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, if there are ways of avoiding these procedures or substituting the subjects of testing
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 non-living creatures, they should be investigated and implemented.

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task response
Be clear on your view at the start and keep it in every part of the essay.
structure
Use a plan. A simple plan with four parts helps: intro, 2 body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence
Put one main idea in each paragraph and give a clear example.
lexical
Use easy and right words. Check spell and grammar.
coherence
Use connecting words to show how idea links go from one part to the next.
task response
You show a view that animals should not be tested in many cases.
coherence
You discuss both sides and say why some tests may be needed.
coherence
You use simple links to move ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
What to do next:
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