Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities, Others, however, say that this would have littel effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion?

Certain individuals believe that building more centres for
exercising
Replace the word
exercise
show examples
may improve
people
Use synonyms
's health.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some say
this
Linking Words
move will not help at all because there are other steps that can be taken. I,
however
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, think that other measures are required to achieve better health. On one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
think that building more
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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as soccer stadiums and swimming
pools
Punctuation problem
pools,
show examples
is the best way to deal with public health. They believe that exercising may help prevent more diseases
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such
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, such
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as high blood pressure.
For instance
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, most developed countries offer free
gymn
Correct your spelling
gym
cards to their employees as a way of encouraging exercise.
This
Linking Words
is because some of the workers spend time
on
Correct word order
working on
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their computers
working
Correct word order
apply
show examples
. They have no time for
sports
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, other individuals say that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
having more sporting
facilities
Use synonyms
will not make any change.
This
Linking Words
is because other measures must be taken. I
,
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apply
show examples
support
this
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view because
people
Use synonyms
need to be educated about the importance of
exercising
Punctuation problem
exercising,
show examples
as some do not know.
Also
Linking Words
, when
sporting
Replace the word
sports
show examples
places
Check wording
facilities
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are built, other
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
must be used for free .
For
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instance
Add a comma
instance,
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the government may build more
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
without restrictions or entrance fees.
This
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may
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
may motivate
people
Use synonyms
to do
sports
Use synonyms
,
hence
Linking Words
, improve their well-being. In conclusion, I'm of the opinion
having
Correct word choice
that having
show examples
more
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
is not helpful if
people
Use synonyms
do not know how
why
Punctuation problem
, why
show examples
and how to use them. Educating the public and giving them free entrance
maybe
Use the right word
may be
show examples
a good start.

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grammar
Fix many mistakes in grammar and spell and keep a clean form.
structure
Use the same plan: para 1 for view, para 2 for other view, para 3 for your view, then a short end.
coherence
Use linking words to show flow and help the reader know the idea.
content
Give one clear example for each point so the idea is easy to see.
task
The essay shows both sides.
position
The end has a clear own view.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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