IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In most countries, animal and plant species are declining rapidly. What are the causes of this? What measures could be done to prevent this decline?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
species
Use synonyms
 of
animals
Use synonyms
 and
plants
Use synonyms
 are rapidly decreasing in most countries. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will examine the factors that contribute towards declining animal and plant
species
Use synonyms
 and propose some solutions to that. There are a few factors that contribute to the falling
species
Use synonyms
 of
animals
Use synonyms
 and
plants
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the main cause for
this
Linking Words
 issue probably is human activities. There are some people who like to kill
animals
Use synonyms
 and
plants
Use synonyms
 for their own purpose
such
Linking Words
 as for collection.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the other reason why is
this
Linking Words
 happening is because of nature degradation. Nowadays, climate change is getting worse in most countries leading to natural selection for
animals
Use synonyms
 and
plants
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, their
species
Use synonyms
 witnessed a rapid fallen. A few ways can be taken to prevent the decline of animal and plant
species
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 plays a crucial role. They have to be aware of
this
Linking Words
 issue and
then
Linking Words
 formulate some regulations to prevent animal and plant hunting.
Although
Linking Words
 the law is already generated, the government should be more active to make sure the regulation is well-running.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, as citizens, we can drive a movement to raise awareness about
this
Linking Words
 issue. Maybe, some people will underestimate what can citizens do with
this
Linking Words
 little, but I believe if we hold hands together, we can make a change. In conclusion, the
species
Use synonyms
 of
animals
Use synonyms
 and
plants
Use synonyms
 are declining rapidly mainly caused by human activities that do illegal hunting.
This
Linking Words
 essay suggested that the ways to prevent
this
Linking Words
 problem are twofold: to generate strict regulation and to create a movement in order to raise society's awareness.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction Clarity
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the purpose of the essay and briefly outlines the points to be discussed. Consider crafting a more impactful thesis statement.
Cohesion & Linking
Enhance the essay by incorporating a variety of cohesive devices beyond basic connectors like 'firstly,' 'secondly,' and 'furthermore'. Use synonyms, pronouns, and transitional phrases to ensure smooth flow.
Supporting Examples
Support main points with concrete examples, data, or case studies. The essay mentions the importance of laws and community action but could benefit from specific examples or experiences from particular regions or countries.
Conclusion Depth
Expand the conclusion to not only summarize the essay's key points but also to reflect more deeply on the implications or call to action. This can make the conclusion more memorable and impactful.
Specificity & Detail
Increase the specificity of the causes and solutions provided. While human activity and climate change are mentioned, detailing particular activities or specific climate effects can enrich the argument. Similarly, proposing distinct measures beyond laws and awareness campaigns could strengthen the solutions section.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Biodiversity
  • Ecosystem
  • Habitat destruction
  • Deforestation
  • Urbanization
  • Pollution
  • Climate change
  • Overexploitation
  • Invasive species
  • Conservation
  • Endangered species
  • Ecosystem restoration
  • Sustainable practices
  • Protected areas
  • Public awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: