Extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a view that extreme activities like skydiving and rock climbing ought to be banned

due to

Linking Words

their danger.

While

Linking Words

some argue in favour, I personally oppose

this

Linking Words

notion as everyone has different choices

some

Punctuation problem

; some

show examples

people may be afraid of

such

Linking Words

sports ,

while

Linking Words

for others it can be enjoyable. Skydiving and rock climbing may be unsafe in some cases,

for instance

Linking Words

, when staff who are working there are not doing their work properly or don't even know how to do it. Usually, it is newcomers who do not have enough experience. They can do their work in the wrong way , which will lead to bad consequences.

As a result

Linking Words

, people will have unfavourable associations with it.

Also

Linking Words

, as I mentioned before, it can be related to personal choices because of past experience , which negatively affected

this

Linking Words

person's opinion about it.

According to

Linking Words

the other side, it can be a funny and energetic thing to do in their free time or when hanging out with close ones. It can

also

Linking Words

be a good way to get rid of negative emotions , which is unfavourable to remember. Taking away

such

Linking Words

interesting and sometimes important activities from people is not entirely fair

due to

Linking Words

the fact that others who are not into

this

Linking Words

area of sport may just ignore it. Paying attention to the other kinds of things which will be safer is the best way to avoid it. In conclusion, I believe that everyone has the right to choose what they would like to do, so it will be more accurate to let others who love it

Verb problem

apply

show examples

do it rather than completely ban it.

Bunnijon16

Dec 9, 2025

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organization

The essay follows a basic plan with an intro, two body parts and a conclusion. Keep this plan.

development

Some ideas are not explained enough. Add more detail and a clear example for each point.

grammar

Fix grammar and punctuation. Use shorter, clear sentences to avoid mistakes.

coherence

Link ideas with better connectors. Use phrases like 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' for clear links.

lexical

Use simple words. Avoid long or rare words not in the top 100 words to keep meaning clear.

content

Clear stance against ban is stated.

structure

Essay has a plan with intro, body, and conclusion.

content

Attempts to discuss both sides.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

exhilarating
personal growth
sense of achievement
self-esteem
mental resilience
economic implications
adventure tourism
acknowledging
paramount
mitigate
recreational activities
governmental regulations
personal liberties
pioneering
advancements
protective gear
innovation

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Extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

schools should offer some type of physical education program to their students. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals , such as doctors and engineering , should be required to work in the country where they did their training.Others believe should be free to work in another country if they wish. Disuss both these views and give your opinion.