IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a common belief that in urban areas, planting
trees
Use synonyms
 in wide and free spaces is considered to be more significant than constructing more
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
 for
people
Use synonyms
. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view
due to
Linking Words
 the benefits that nurturing
trees
Use synonyms
 brings to indigenous individuals.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
trees
Use synonyms
 have a positive and essential impact on the health of inhabitants in crowded cities. Leaves of
trees
Use synonyms
 take in carbon dioxide, which is a harmful gas to
human's
Check wording
humans'
show examples
lung
Fix the agreement mistake
lungs
show examples
, and emit oxygen, the substance that maintains a key role in
people
Use synonyms
's breathing function. Big cities in the world are often densely populated, the number of dwellers per a m2 land is enormous,
as a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 usually do not have sufficient oxygen to take in and
feel
Verb problem
find it
show examples
 hard to breathe on a daily basis.
Therefore
Linking Words
, increasing the number of
trees
Use synonyms
 planted in cities can help to improve
citizens's
Check wording
citizens'
show examples
 respiratory system.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the more houses in towns are built, the more spaces are expanded to construct high flats, the
worsen
Replace the word
worse
show examples
level
Correct article usage
the level
show examples
 of
air
Use synonyms
 pollution is going to be, resulting in more severe health problems
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 city dwellers.
For instance
Linking Words
, Ha Noi in 2025 is constantly regarded as the most contaminated city
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
over
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
globe
Check wording
world
show examples
 in terms of
air
Use synonyms
 pollution. The harmful effects of
air
Use synonyms
 pollution in overpopulated towns can be reduced to the minimum level by putting more green on land;
however
Linking Words
, investing in
buidling
Correct your spelling
building
 more houses can not do the same thing. Construction releases more dust and ash to the
air
Use synonyms
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
trees
Use synonyms
 do exactly
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, diseases
such
Linking Words
 as lung cancer can be prevented more efficiently.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 living in those places will have longer lifespans. In conclusion, I firmly believe that having more
trees
Use synonyms
 in towns is more substantial
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the citizens than constructing more houses.
This
Linking Words
 is because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 health benefits that
trees
Use synonyms
 bring to native inhabitants in urban areas.

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improve
Plan your essay before you write. Say your view in the first line, then give 2 or 3 main ideas with clear link.
language
Check big grammar and word use. Correct spell words like 'accommodations' and fix word order.
improve
Give one or two clear examples to prove your point.
technique
Use linking words clearly to show balance and flow between ideas.
strength
You state your view clearly from the start.
strength
You use order words to show your plan (Firstly, Secondly).
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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