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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some children nowadays take sports seriously while others play sports in their free time. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some
children
Use synonyms
 nowadays take
sports
Use synonyms
 seriously,
while
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 others play
sports
Use synonyms
 in their free
time
Use synonyms
.
This
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 is a positive development
due to
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 future career prospects and the potential for higher earnings based on their performance. In recent years, the majority of
children
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 have approached
sports
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 more seriously,
while
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 some prefer to play
sports
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 only during their leisure
time
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. There are several reasons why spending their free
time
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 on
sports
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 is beneficial. Taking
sports
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 seriously is now preferable not only for their passion but
also
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 for the opportunity to earn higher-than-average salaries in their countries. First and foremost, playing
sports
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 in their free
time
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 is the best
way
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 to avoid harmful habits
such
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 as wasting their valuable days watching unnecessary TV series and streams.
This
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 kind of activity can become addictive as
time
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 passes and lead to continued dependence, resulting in irreversible harm in the long run.
Secondly
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,
children
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 should adopt beneficial activities to become more useful to their societies, and playing different types of
sports
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 is a convenient
way
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 to do
this
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.
For example
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, Azerbaijan’s government introduced new legislation to reduce negative behaviour among teenagers, and it is estimated to achieve a
ninety-percent
Change the spelling
ninety-per cent
show examples
 success rate.
On the other hand
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, playing
sports
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 during leisure
time
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 may
also
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 encourage
children
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 to take it seriously because of its advantages,
such
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 as the potential to earn a substantial income and the physical transformation it provides.
Firstly
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, if the younger generation starts exercising in an enjoyable
way
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, it will help them improve even without noticing their progress.
Secondly
Linking Words
, when they see themselves as successful sportsmen in the future, it will motivate younger generations to choose the best leisure activities for their personal development. In conclusion, playing
sports
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 not only in their free
time
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 turning it into a career is undeniably a positive development. It reduces the likelihood of negative behaviour during teenage years and contributes to a well-developed generation in a
way
Use synonyms
 that many other activities cannot offer.

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task response
In tasks please give a strong, simple view in the first line and stay with it all through the essay. Add more firm links between ideas and explain each point.
coherence
Make the plan clear. Use one idea per paragraph. Use simple links like first, also, but, finally. Do not move to a new idea in the middle of a paragraph.
content strength
The piece shows a clear view that sports can lead to rewards.
structure strength
There is a simple structure with an intro, body and ending.
example strength
Examples are used to back ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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