IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development, while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that homeschooling is the most effective way to support a
child’s
Use synonyms
 development,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that attending
school
Use synonyms
 is essential.
Although
Linking Words
 both methods offer unique benefits, I believe that formal schooling provides a more balanced
environment
Use synonyms
 for a
child’s
Use synonyms
 academic and social growth.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the advantages of each approach before presenting my opinion. One main advantage of homeschooling is the highly personalised attention
children
Use synonyms
 receive. Parents can tailor lessons to their
child’s
Use synonyms
 pace, interests, and learning style, which may reduce academic pressure and increase motivation.
In addition
Linking Words
, homeschooling creates a close and supportive learning
environment
Use synonyms
, strengthening the emotional bond between parents and
children
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, many young
children
Use synonyms
 naturally learn their early skills—
such
Linking Words
 as speaking, counting, and recognising colours—simply by observing their parents at home.
However
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
environment
Use synonyms
 is nurturing, it may limit
children
Use synonyms
’s exposure to social situations and reduce opportunities to interact with peers, which is a crucial part of their development.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
schools
Use synonyms
 provide a structured setting that helps
children
Use synonyms
 develop both academically and socially. Qualified teachers deliver specialised instruction in different subjects, ensuring that students receive a strong foundation of knowledge.
Schools
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 offer extracurricular activities,
such
Linking Words
 as sports, music, and art, which help
children
Use synonyms
 discover their talents and build important skills
such
Linking Words
 as teamwork and leadership.
For instance
Linking Words
, many reputable
schools
Use synonyms
, including Delhi Public
School
Use synonyms
 in India, consistently produce high-achieving students in national examinations
due to
Linking Words
 their well-organised academic programmes.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a recognised
school
Use synonyms
 certificate is essential for pursuing higher education, something that homeschooling alone often cannot provide. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 homeschooling offers individualised learning and a nurturing
environment
Use synonyms
, it may lack the social exposure and academic structure that
schools
Use synonyms
 provide.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that attending
school
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 more effective option for a
child’s
Use synonyms
overall
Linking Words
 development.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Try to add more points for homeschooling to keep a balance with school ideas.
coherence
Use clearer link words like first, also, but, in addition, as a result.
structure
State your view in the opening and restate it in the end.
language
Keep words simple and short; check for long or hard word use.
structure
The essay shows a clear view and a strong start.
coherence
Ideas move well from one idea to the next in most parts.
content
Examples support the points.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized learning
  • cater
  • flexible schedule
  • extracurricular activities
  • safe learning environment
  • bullying
  • peer pressure
  • socialization
  • diversity awareness
  • structured environment
  • discipline
  • punctuality
  • resources and facilities
  • communication skills
  • teamwork
  • specialized subjects
  • experts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: