IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extend do you agree?

In the contemporary
world
Use synonyms
, available means of natural
resources
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 in the
world
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 is used to be discovered. Some argue that
restristed
Correct your spelling
restricted
use
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 of
resources
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 in undiscovered places
have be
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 available for the
world
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 as there is a rise in
human
Correct article usage
the human
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 population. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 idea, exploitation and
running
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the running
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 of non-renewable
resources
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 can result
significant
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in significant
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 economic
shortage
Fix the agreement mistake
shortages
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. On the one hand, oil and natural gas
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
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crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
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 role in
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world`s
Correct article usage
the world`s
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 industry and manufacturing. Considering the
use
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 of gas and oil is exhaustible
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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advance
Replace the word
advanced
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 technology is able to provide alternatives for renewable
resources
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. Considering the growth in the number of
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 is soaring and demand
in
Change preposition
at
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 the same time, those valuable
resources
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 provided by nature cannot be replaced easily, but it can cause
Correct article usage
a long
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long term
Use the right word
long-term
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 economic crisis.
Secondly
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, as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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advances in technology rise in the modern
world
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 and there is still a huge need to make
use
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 of natural assets,
such
Linking Words
 as oil and gas.
However
Linking Words
, even with the
tehnologic
Correct your spelling
technological
 advancements,
economic
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the economic
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 and commercial sector holds
the
Correct article usage
a
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 great percentage of energy demand with natural
non-revewable
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non-renewable
resources
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.
Correct your spelling
Additionally
Additionaly
Punctuation problem
Additionaly,
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 it is worth
to point
Wrong verb form
pointing
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 out that
,
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apply
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 industry, business,
economy
Punctuation problem
economy,
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end
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and
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 even
manufacuring
Correct your spelling
manufacturing
 sectors
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
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 heavily on depletable
resources
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. Using fossil fuels
affect
Verb problem
has
show examples
Correct article usage
a negatively
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negatively
Replace the word
negative
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on
Check wording
impact on
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 nature,
exploitting
Correct your spelling
emitting
 harmful gases
to
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into
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atmosphere
Correct article usage
the atmosphere
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 and
result
Wrong verb form
resulting
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global
Change preposition
in global
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 warming and climate change on the Earth
To conclude
Linking Words
, restrictions on the
resources
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 which are running out and depleting in the near future,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 firmly believe that limited
use
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 of natural fossil fuels and providing an opportunity to the
long term
Use the right word
long-term
show examples
 goals and advantages

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Task Response
Your position is not clear from the start. Say if you agree or not in the first paragraph and stick to it. Give more exact reason and use simple facts or examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use simple links to make the flow from one idea to the next. Each paragraph should have one main idea and a clear topic sentence.
Task Response
You show a view about energy use and the need for tech.
Coherence and Cohesion
You mention oil and gas and how tech may change demand.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global demand
  • finite resources
  • energy consumption
  • exploiting
  • untouched ecosystems
  • carbon emissions
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable energy solutions
  • geopolitical consequences
  • territorial disputes
  • dependency
What to do next:
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