IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

‘Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?

Almost all
of damocracy
Correct word choice
democratic
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 countries, it is stated in the constitution that all
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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eqaul
Correct your spelling
equal
 and the freedom of
expressions
Fix the agreement mistake
expression
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 protected by the government. To pursue that notion, some
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 do not bother with
students
Use synonyms
 about their attire or
apperances
Correct your spelling
appearances
 too much.
However
Linking Words
, other schools, especially elite, have a stringent dress code and even hairstyle.
While
Linking Words
 these principles can
be
Verb problem
have
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 advantages and disadvantages, it mainly depends on both
Use synonyms
students
Check wording
students'
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 and authorities' actions toward the rules. On the one hand, having a
school
Use synonyms
 uniform can be
benefits
Replace the word
beneficial
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 in terms of
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
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disapline
Correct your spelling
discipline
, teaching about
adaption
Replace the word
adaptation
show examples
 and promoting equality. The pupils who used to study strict
school
Use synonyms
 tend to be more flexible than others because these pupils have learnt how to adjust themselves
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 unsolicited codes.
Besides
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 the lessons, a dress code can support
eqauilty
Correct your spelling
equality
 since
students
Use synonyms
 are all put on the same
attires
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attire
show examples
; no one will feel isolated and
peer's
Check wording
peer
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 pressure.
On the other hand
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, it sometimes sparks
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conflict between teachers and
students
Use synonyms
, especially adolescents.
While
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 teachers encourage them to comply with the rules, pupils often
constreu
Correct your spelling
construe
 it as an intentional violation of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human's
Check wording
human
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 rights.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, many psychological studies recommend
teachers
Correct word choice
that teachers
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 not force
students
Use synonyms
 to be in their
favors
Use the right word
favour
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 since all people were born and raised in different ways and nothing
could not
Verb problem
can
show examples
 change that. In summary, having
Use synonyms
school
Correct article usage
a school
show examples
 uniform can practice
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
disapline
Correct your spelling
discipline
 and
enbrace eqality
Correct your spelling
embrace equality
. In others' points of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
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 can
also
Linking Words
 fuel the friction within
Use synonyms
school
Correct article usage
the school
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. Even
every
Correct word choice
though every
show examples
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
 has informed
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 regulations before the first semester,
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 controversial issues still persist until today.

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task response
Task response: say a clear view on the question. The essay shares ideas but does not give a firm stand. Add a short clear sentence in the start and keep your view in mind as you go.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion: put ideas in clean order. Make a new paragraph for each idea. Use small words to link, like first, also, then, but, so. End with a short final thought.
grammar
Language use: keep to common, simple words. Check spell and tune the sentences. Use you and your view to be clear.
content
The writer tries to show both sides.
structure
It uses 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' to show sides.
content
There are ideas about rule and fair dress.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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