IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart presents data on alterations in mean housing costs in New York (USA),
Tokyo
Use synonyms
 (Japan), London (UK), Madrid (Spain),
Frankfurt
Correct word choice
and Frankfurt
show examples
 (Germany) from 1990 to
2002
Punctuation problem
2002,
show examples
 with the typical house prices in 1989.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is apparent that
change
Correct article usage
the change
show examples
 in prices of house
was
Check wording
prices was
show examples
 below 0% in
Tokyo
Use synonyms
 in both years,
whereas
Linking Words
 the percentage in the other four cities was high in 1996-2002.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart, in 1990-1995, the proportion of changes in housing costs in
Tokyo
Use synonyms
 and London was similar, at approximately -3%,
while
Linking Words
 in New York, it was -5%. In the period between 1996 and 2002,
Use synonyms
Tokyo's
Check wording
Tokyo
show examples
 became the only city that
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
percentage
Correct article usage
a percentage
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
remained
Wrong verb form
remaining
show examples
 below 0%, at -5%,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to New York and London, at 5% and over 10%, respectively. As for Madrid, its
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
 show a slight growth in change of housing prices, increasing from nearly 2% to roughly 4%, which was lower than Frankfurt's about 3% in 1990-1995, higher than Frankfurt's only 2% in 1996-2002.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words tokyo with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: