IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people feel a country can't be economically progressive and environmentally friendly at the same time. Others disagree with this view. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

Many
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 that a nation cannot advance in
economy
Correct pronoun usage
its economy
show examples
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 supporting
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 safety. There are some
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 think
otherwise
Linking Words
. I support the crowd that
disgaree
Correct your spelling
disagrees
 with
this
Linking Words
 statement. It is logical to accept that, with the advancement of a region's wealth, comes harm to its ecosystem. A classic example of
this
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is
rapid
Correct article usage
the rapid
show examples
bilt up
Correct your spelling
build-up
 of industries. These chemical-producing machineries release harmful by-products in the atmosphere,
thus
Linking Words
 polluting it.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
progress
Use synonyms
 brings population
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 in turn increases construction.
Breathing forests
Check wording
Forests
show examples
 are cut down to
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 the demand of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
.
Such
Linking Words
enormous
Correct article usage
an enormous
show examples
 amount of green
disappering
Correct your spelling
disappearing
 can cause major loss of diverse species of animals
in addition
Linking Words
 to the decrease in air quality.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I firmly
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 both
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 and
Correct article usage
the enviornment
show examples
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
 can
progress
Use synonyms
 at the same time. Like tourism, being the main source of income in many countries, not only
bringing
Wrong verb form
brings
show examples
 in capital, but
also
Linking Words
glorifying
Wrong verb form
glorifies
show examples
 nature.
For example
Linking Words
, Switzerland, a big portion of
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
 national earnings
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 from visitors,
thus
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 making it a financially stable country
while
Linking Words
 saving the landscape.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
progress
Correct article usage
the progress
show examples
 of a country should not be on account of its
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
.
Countires
Correct your spelling
Countries
 like Scotland are
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
 example.
Although
Linking Words
 it has one of the strongest economies,
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
 popularity comes from the beauty
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 its geographical land and the
quailty
Correct your spelling
quality
 of
air
Correct pronoun usage
its air
show examples
. In conclusion
.
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree with
idea
Correct article usage
the idea
show examples
 that wealth and environment cannot
progress
Use synonyms
 simultaneously. If the government
Linking Words
along
Punctuation problem
, along
show examples
 with its
citizen
Punctuation problem
citizen,
show examples
 take it upon themselves to preserve their surroundings. It is possible to live
wealthy
Correct article usage
a wealthy
show examples
 lifestyle in a beautiful and healthy world, as many countries have proved in the past.

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task response
Plan your essay in a short map. Put your view in the intro and all main ideas in order in the body.
coherence
Use simple links to connect ideas, like 'also', 'but', 'so', 'then'.
grammar
Check your spelling and capitalize the 'I' and name words. Use full stops well and start new lines for new ideas.
content
Give a little more detail for each idea. Explain how each example shows your point.
content
You show both sides and give your own view.
examples
You use some real place examples.
structure
You end with a clear view.
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