Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by other in the same age. This is called peer pressure. Do the disadvantages outweighed the advantages?

Afraid of being left out, young people often interact with
other
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others
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in
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of
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their age, especially adolescents. Wanting to be accepted by
freinds
Correct your spelling
friends
, they try to emulate what they regard as cool or looking nice.
However
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, not all people can follow that, so
peer
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pressure
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emerges. To decide whether or not disadvantages outweigh the advantages, we must scrutinise both sides of it. Begin with advantages,
peer
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pressure
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can improve someone since everyone's
conducts
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conduct
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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the same.
For example
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, provided that we studied in
the
Correct article usage
an
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academic
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academically
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excellent room, we would perceive the
pressure
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from our friends who always read the book. As
the
Correct article usage
a
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results
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result
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, we would
finally
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pursue
knowledges
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knowledge
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even if we were idle.
However
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, if one lives in
the
Correct article usage
an
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unsophisticated
societies
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society
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,
peer
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pressure
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will
instead
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trigger us to be evil.
Moreover
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, it can cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stress to them even if others do not reject or alienate them, they will still feel they do not belong to their groups.
Furthermore
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, the
pressure
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sometimes suppresses real dispositions. The more they pursue other
expections
Correct your spelling
expectations
, the more they become others. These problems can eventually lead to severe mental illness and many
pyschological
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psychological
concerns if they do not
realize
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realise
show examples
about
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apply
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this
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situation.
To sum up
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,
peer
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pressure
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mostly stresses out youngsters and undermines their personalities. Despite that, it
also
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benefits them in the case that they have a relationship with scrupulous friends.
In addition
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, it has detrimental impacts on mental health.
Therefore
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, I can conclude that
peer
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pressure
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has mainly
nagative
Correct your spelling
negative
effects on young people.

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structure
Make your thesis clear at the start and restate it in the end.
cohesion
Put each idea in its own paragraph with good link words.
content
Use more easy examples that fit the point.
accuracy
Check spelling and grammar, and use correct word forms.
lexical
Keep to simple, common words to keep clear meaning.
content
Some idea of both sides is shown.
structure
A final verdict is given.
content
Effort to use examples.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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