IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical apliances and amount of time spent doing in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarises the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The report drives a line chart which illustrates household appliance ownership and how much time
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
they use washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
,
Use synonyms
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 and vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 between 1920 and 2019. A glance
look
Check wording
apply
show examples
at the graph reveals
, The
Correct your spelling
that the
refrigerator
Use synonyms
 had
rose
Wrong verb form
risen
show examples
 significantly. The vacuum cleaner
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
 but not like the
refrigerator
Use synonyms
. The washing machine had
rised
Correct your spelling
risen
 and
then
Linking Words
 declined
slight
Replace the word
slightly
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 not only is
this
Linking Words
 point clear, but
also
Linking Words
 the hours of housework had declined significantly throughout the period. Notably, in 1920, the
refrigerator
Use synonyms
 was the
lowset
Use the right word
lowest
show examples
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 the other machines,
he reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 around 7, but in 1940,
he
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 rose noticeably to around 55, in 1960,
he
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 rose to around 90
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
However
Linking Words
, in 1980, 2000 and
2019
Punctuation problem
2019,
show examples
was
Verb problem
it remained
show examples
 steady
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
 100.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, the vacuum cleaner in 1920, second
lowset
Use the right word
lowest
show examples
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others he reached around 30
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
then
Linking Words
 from 1940 to 2000
he
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
was rising
Verb problem
rose
show examples
 and
then
Linking Words
stoped
Use the right word
stopped
show examples
 around 100.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 it reveals that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the washing machine in 1920
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 was the greatest
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 the others,
he reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 around 40,
then
Linking Words
he
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
complete
Verb problem
rose
show examples
 rising until 1960 and
then
Linking Words
 declined
slight
Replace the word
slightly
show examples
 to around 66, but in 1980,
he
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 had a resurgence to around 70, in 2019,
he
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 to around 76. The hours of
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
declined significantly throughout the period.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words refrigerator with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rised" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 10 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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