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Writing Samples
Band 5

some people want the government to spend money looking for life on other planets. others, however, think this a waste of public money when there so many problem on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some individuals believe that the government should invest money in searching for life on other planets, as they want to explore
,
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 and earn fame by visiting over there,
whereas
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 others argue that they should spend money wisely to improve the economic situation of the country. I think living on another planet is not possible yet, and the government should put more emphasis on developing job opportunities for people
,
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 and implement rules for traffic congestion as well. On the one hand, most youngsters are curious to learn about
the
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life on different
planet
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planets
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, and they often show their interest in scientific experiments to develop their imagination,
and
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which
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 helps to explore
the
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life on other planets,
such
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 as Mars, Mercury, Venus or Jupiter.
Moreover
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,
organizations
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organisations
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 like NASA and SpaceX are planning to send a small group of human beings to Mars, where they will live in dome houses with a controlled atmosphere.
Such
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 experiments will definitely encourage others to travel to space in the future.
Additionally
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, people can get the opportunity to earn recognition for their own nation
,
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 when they show their interest
to know
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in knowing
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 about everything on Mars.
On the other hand
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, the authorities should invest in those sectors that are important for the sake of the community.
Firstly
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, the unemployment rate has increased, and the youngsters are unable to find suitable jobs after completing their studies in
science
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the science
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 or medical fields.
Therefore
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, the government should invest in their
start ups
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start-ups
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,
such
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 as
offer
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offering
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 incentives, loans, and proper training to them.
Similarly
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, the traffic congestion has increased in recent years. The officials can provide a better atmosphere
,
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 and
pollution-free
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a pollution-free
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 environment
,
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 when they enact strict regulations for the well-being of
the
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society. In conclusion,
although
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 exploring other planets may satisfy human curiosity and contribute to scientific progress, I believe that governments should focus on improving essential sectors on Earth. Since living on another planet is not yet possible, investing in employment opportunities, environmental protection, and other social services is far more beneficial for the
overall
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 development and well‑being of society.

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task response
Add more clear reasons for each point and explain how they fit your view.
coherence
Link ideas more cleanly to the main message; use more sign words like 'for this reason', 'as a result'.
grammar
Shorten some long sentences and fix small grammar errors to make meaning clear.
lexical
Use simple words and avoid long phrases; check word choice for accuracy.
content
Clear view that earth issues are more important.
structure
Good use of contrast markers ('On the one hand', 'On the other hand').
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • extraterrestrial
  • terrestrial issues
  • poverty alleviation
  • sustainable
  • philosophical advancement
  • ethics
  • biological diversity
  • technological breakthroughs
  • resource allocation
  • fiscal responsibility
  • humanity's place in the universe
  • pressing issues
  • critical resources
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