IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The migration of people to cities is one of the biggest problems facing the world's cities today. Discuss the main causes. What solutions could be used to tackle this situation

Big
Correct article usage
A big
show examples
 wave of
migration
Use synonyms
 to urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 is a vital drawback of modern
Use synonyms
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will examine the factors of urban
migration
Use synonyms
 and propose some solutions to them.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in the light of
advanced
Correct article usage
the advanced
show examples
 economic state
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
today, many people believe that traditional occupations,
such
Linking Words
 as farming and fishing, offer
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of financial security.
For instance
Linking Words
, farmers' profit is very dependent on the weather and quality of crops, which are very unpredictable throughout different seasons.
Therefore
Linking Words
, introducing a policy to incentivise fresh
produces
Correct subject-verb agreement
produce
show examples
 and offer subsidies is important to maintain the welfare of traditional
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 in the countryside
Other
Fix the agreement mistake
Another
show examples
 major reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
city
Use synonyms
migration
Use synonyms
 is the discrepancy
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 infrastructure development between rural and urban
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
.
Linking Words
This
Fix the agreement mistake
These
show examples
 advancements promise
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 quality of life and economic progression in the
city
Use synonyms
, but at the same time
neglecting
Replace the word
neglect
show examples
 rural citizens. To overcome
this
Linking Words
 issue,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should ensure the equal development of
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 outside the
city
Use synonyms
 so that country dwellers can thrive in their own land. To summarise, a skyrocketing trend of urban
migration
Use synonyms
 is caused by
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
 instability of traditional
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 and
infrastructure
Correct article usage
the infrastructure
show examples
 disparity
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 country
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
. To handle these problems,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 needs to be directly involved
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 policymaking to ensure
welfare
Correct article usage
the welfare
show examples
 of rural people and to focus on rural infrastructure advancement.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan the essay in clear parts: one part for causes, one part for solutions. Each part should have a topic sentence and a few details.
language
Use plain words and short sentences. Check for easy words and fix mistakes like 'countryside' and 'produce' as needed.
content
Give more detail to each cause and each solution. Use one small example for each point to back what you say.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like also, but, for example to help the flow.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar for small errors and keep tense right.
content
Clear aim to show causes and offer fixes.
solution
Shows plan to help rural areas rather than only city view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: