Some people believe that to be a successful person you need a university education, while others disagree.

There is no doubt that
success
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is
one
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of the essential things these days. Some people think that to be successful, you need to get a university
education
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,
while
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others think that
success
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does not depend on that. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both views and their advantages and disadvantages, and
at the end
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, I will present my opinion. On the
one
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hand.The college is
one
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of the ways that anyone can be a successful person.
In other words
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, a college degree can give you the ability to get a better job than other people who do not have
one
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.
For example
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, my brother Ahmed works as a teacher
due to
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his degree ,
while
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Khalid , who is my other brother, has not found a job yet because he did not complete his studies.
As a result
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, if you get a good level, you can find a better place.
On the other hand
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. Many thinkers believe that
success
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is not related to
education
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, but it depends on the way
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the person thinks. To explain, the mental process of the person can lead him to earn money.
For instance
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, most of the businessmen did not get a university degree to start their business. Therefor. University
education
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is not the only way to
success
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.
To sum up
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.
This
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issue will still
debatable
Verb problem
be debatable
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forever , and nobody can state a clear opinion towards it.
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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I agree that the level of
education
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can lead to a good job and a better life.

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content
Your essay shows both sides and then gives your view, but state your main position clearly in the introduction and keep it in the conclusion.
structure
Make each paragraph focus on one idea. Start with a short sentence that tells what the paragraph is about, then add details.
grammar
Fix grammar and spelling. For example, use a space after a period, spell therefor as therefore, and use proper word forms.
vocabulary
Use simple, clear words. Link ideas with small join words like first, also, but, then, finally.
content
The essay tries to show both sides and ends with a view.
structure
There is a clear ending that gives the writer's own view.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

What to do next:
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