Many children today are overweight and suffer from obesity. This is a very unhealthy situation. Give the reasons for this and give some solutions to solve this problem.

Society is very different today from the past, especially in how
children
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eat. More and more
children
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today are sick
bcause
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because
of their weight problems.
Children
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are overweight
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,
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and
this
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is a major
problem
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in many countries.
This
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essay will provide reasons for
this
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and give solutions to solve
this
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problem
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.
Children
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today are overweight for many reasons.
First,
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children
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follow an unhealthy lifestyle. Most of the time, they eat unhealthy food. These poor eating habits
leads
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lead
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to obesity.
For example
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, some
children
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eat fast food and chocolates.
Second,
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some
children
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are overweight because they do not move too much. Many
children
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do not exercise every day. They spend too much time on the computer playing video games.
Finally
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,some parents do not teach their
children
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good behaviour.
For example
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, some parents do not support their
children
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to discover
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in discovering
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their favourite sport or encourage them to do exercise.
However
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,
on the other hand
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, there are many solutions to solve
this
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problem
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.
First,
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children
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should follow a healthy lifestyle. They should eat healthy food
such
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as vegetables and fruits.
Also
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, it is important to drink three litres of water every day.
Second,
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doing exercises is great for
children
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.
For example
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, there are many exercises like running, swimming, jumping, and yoga. Parents must teach
children
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about sports and help them
to
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apply
show examples
discover their favourite sport.
Third,
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children
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need to
avoidsweets
Correct your spelling
avoid sweets
. Far too many times,
children
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eat candy and sugary treats. By reducing
this
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, they will lose weight. In conclusion, it is easy to see that there are many reasons that contribute to child obesity.
However
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, there are
also
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several solutions to help fix
this
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serious
problem
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.

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task response
The essay makes a good start with an intro and a conclusion and uses steps like First, Second, and Finally. To raise the score, add more clear steps and facts, and check small grammar errors to stay clear.
coherence
For better flow, make a quick plan before you write. Start each paragraph with a clear idea (topic sentence). Use simple linking words so ideas move smoothly.
structure
Intro and conclusion are present, which gives a full shape to the essay.
coherence
Paragraphs use order words (First, Second, Finally) to show steps.
content
The essay gives both causes and ways to solve the problem with examples.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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