IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Pollution and wastes are increasing everyday. What problems can these cause to the ordinary people? How can these problems be resolved?

Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
's lives are becoming more difficult and changing because of the
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 caused by humans. PM2.5 is
also
Linking Words
 caused by
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 must adjust their lifestyles in order to live under these conditions.
This
Linking Words
 essay will clarify the cause of
this
Linking Words
 problem and the
resolve
Replace the word
resolution
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 situation.
Human
Fix the agreement mistake
Humans
show examples
 are the main cause of
Air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
. The reason it happened was because of burning garbage or from factories. Exhaust fumes are
also
Linking Words
 a part of it. These
problems
Use synonyms
 create
air
Use synonyms
pollution
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,
PM2.5
Correct word choice
and PM2.5
show examples
dust
Use synonyms
 is a negative effect of
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 issues. The result is that humans have health
problems
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such
Linking Words
 as
respiratory
Correct article usage
the respiratory
show examples
 system, skin disease and allergies. In terms of life,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 is difficult to do some outdoor activities because of the
dust
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there is an additional cost because of the mask in daily life. The
resolve
Replace the word
resolution
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 problem should rely on government agencies, the Ministry of Public Health. The government should control
open
Correct article usage
the open
show examples
 burning of waste and factory emissions by enacting laws. Simultaneously, they
Linking Words
also should
Correct word order
should also
show examples
 support public transportation, make it accessible to everyone.
People
Use synonyms
 can reduce the use of private vehicles by
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 public transport. These policies can
helps
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
 reduce
air
Use synonyms
pollution
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 and
PM
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.2.5
dust
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. Tree planting can help trap
dust
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 in the
air
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.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, the government should warn the
PM
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.2.5 level to
people
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 to wear a
masks
Fix the agreement mistake
mask
show examples
. The
ministry
Fix capitalization
Ministry
show examples
 of Public Health should provide knowledge about
dust
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 and prevention methods. In conclusion,
Air
Use synonyms
Pollution
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 or PM2.5 will not disappear
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
if
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
non-cooperation
Verb problem
do not cooperate
show examples
 in care or
compliance
Replace the word
comply
show examples
 with policies. These
problems
Use synonyms
 may continue to be bothersome.
Human
Fix the agreement mistake
Humans
show examples
 should all cooperate to help reduce these
problems
Use synonyms
.

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grammar
Fix grammar errors and be precise. For example, write 'Humans are the main cause' and 'the solution' and use PM2.5 consistently.
organization
Make one clear idea per paragraph with a short topic sentence. Use simple linking words to move from one idea to the next.
vocabulary
Choose simple words and keep them in the top 100 words list. Use 'air pollution' and 'health problems' in place of hard words.
content
Give a clear plan: problem, effect, then fix. Add one good example for each idea.
coherence
Link ideas well with words such as 'first', 'also', 'however', 'therefore' to help the flow.
content
The essay shows the topic and the problem of air pollution.
organization
The writer offers both rule change by government and life change by people.
content
It ends with a note that people must work together.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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