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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Dicuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There are some university students who support the idea of studying other subjects,
while
Linking Words
 others prefer to focus on their degree in order to get the best possible mark. I firmly believe that it is more important to give all the time to study the principal subjects to have a good qualification. At university, some people prefer to study other disciplines at the same
moment
Check wording
time
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 that they are
also
Linking Words
 studying for their degree. These people often support their idea by stating that in that way, they would have a better future at work. It is true that enterprises search for people with the best possible CV, and focusing on these other subjects can be essential to improve it. Even if I do not agree with the point of view,
for example
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, a survey made by the Spanish government states that students with knowledge of other disciplines apart from the main ones, in 80% of cases, have a better job post than the other.
On the other hand
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, other students think that it is a better option to stay focused on their main course. In
this
Linking Words
 manner, they are able to get better marks than the others because they spend their time studying and learning things about their field, and they are not distracted.
For instance
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, an article published on the BBC states that those who spend their whole time and attention on their main course finish by getting a much better mark than those who do not.
To conclude
Linking Words
, some youngsters study more disciplines than the principal ones in order to have a better job post, unlike others, with whom I totally agree, believe that giving all their attention to learning for a qualification is the best option to have good marks.

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content
State your view clear in the intro and restate it in the conclusion. Build more real proof for the main ideas.
coherence
Use simple and clear links to show how ideas fit. Keep sentences short and easy to follow.
content
The essay shows a clear view in the opening and closing.
coherence
Some good linking words are used to show contrast.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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