IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the e society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree? reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own Give knowledge or experience.

Recently, most of the advertisements
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 on social media's focus on launching
products
Use synonyms
 to
suite
Use the right word
suit
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consumers
Check wording
consumers'
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 preferences and not what the customer really
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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, leading to
the
Correct article usage
a
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demand
Check wording
decline
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 in
sales
Use synonyms
 of
goods
Use synonyms
. I totally agree with
this
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 statement
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 in
this
Linking Words
 essay,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 will highlight the reason for my answer.
To begin
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, one of the reasons for siding with
this
Linking Words
 topic is that most
people
Use synonyms
 purchase certain things online because of the brand.
For example
Linking Words
, research suggests that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 80%
out
Change preposition
apply
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of 100 females buy
products
Use synonyms
 because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 trending.
Such
Linking Words
items
Use synonyms
 become waste as soon as they reach home.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 check the beauty
the
Change preposition
of the
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 containers
use
Wrong verb form
used
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 for packaging before they buy something
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 most of the advertisements on
televisions
Fix the agreement mistake
television
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 showcase exactly what they are looking for
shifting
Punctuation problem
, shifting
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
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 attention from inspecting the product itself.
For example
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, there is no doubt that children love
shinny
Use the right word
shiny
show examples
items
Use synonyms
,
due to
Linking Words
 that almost all the adverts about
kids
Check wording
kids'
show examples
products
Use synonyms
 are bright and shiny.
This
Linking Words
 contributes to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high
sales
Use synonyms
 of
such
Linking Words
products
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, advertisements have
upper
Correct article usage
the upper
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 hand in the rise in
sales
Use synonyms
 of consumer
goods
Use synonyms
 because most at
this
Linking Words
,
Check wording
point, people
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
apply
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check the celebrities advertising the
products
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 and assume the
items
Use synonyms
 in question are good .
Leading
Wrong verb form
This leads
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 to an increasing demand for consumer
goods
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
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 take public figures as their role models and desire
mimic
Verb problem
to mimic
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 their actions. Because of
this
Linking Words
, they buy anything the stars advertise
not
Punctuation problem
, not
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 necessarily
they
Correct pronoun usage
what they
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 want it but because it is from their mentor, contributing to an increase in
sales
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I agree that
instead
Linking Words
 of reading reviews before buying certain
items
Use synonyms
, most
people
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 choose to buy anything recommended by their role models . Again, most of the things displayed on televisions are attractive
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
kids
Check wording
kids'
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wears
Correct subject-verb agreement
wear
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. Thereby contributing to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
huge
sales
Use synonyms
 in consumer
goods
Use synonyms
 .

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task response
State your view clearly in the introduction and keep the same position in the rest of the essay.
task response
Add a counter idea and explain why some ads may have good points too, then give your own view.
coherence
Make clear topic sentences for each paragraph so the reader knows your point.
coherence
Put ideas in a clear order. Use a new paragraph for each main idea.
evidence
Use simple, direct examples and explain how they show your point.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar. Fix errors like shinny/shiny, containers, and other mistakes.
content strength
You take a clear view and say you agree.
content strength
You use some examples from ads to back your point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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