Smartphones have changed the way we communicate and interact with the world around us. Analyze both the advantages and disadvantages of this shift, offering your perspective on whether the changes are generally positive or negative.

In recent years, it is argued that
smartphones
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have many benefits
,
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;
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however
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, it seems to me that
smartphones
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have many disadvantages. In
this
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essay,
i
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I
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would like to shed light on these viewpoints.
On the other hand
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, smartphone plays a pivotal role in life community. It helps individuals update news information on a daily basis and keep in touch with family, friends and colleagues to strengthen relationship bonds.
Besides
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that,
smartphones
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allow for instant communication and global connections. What is more, when
community
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the community
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use
smartphones
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, they provide access to a lot of information for educational purposes. It helps them relax after working. We can
also
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note valuable information to avoid important things.
On the other hand
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, when
public
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the public
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overuse
Correct subject-verb agreement
overuses
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smartphones
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, it leads to social isolation and impacts social skills and mental health. What is more, we can have problems, privacy and security risks are significant concerns with
smartphones
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.
Besides
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that,
smartphones
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is
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are
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not good for
eyes
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our eyes
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when we overuse
.
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them.
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I think we would exercise every day to improve well
-
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apply
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health and avoid disease. In a word, it is vital to
that
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apply
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keep in touch with many people
,
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;
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however
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,
i
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I
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assert that smartphone has a detrimental effect on
community
Correct article usage
the community
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.

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task
Task response: The essay talks about pro and con points but it does not give a clear view. Add a strong thesis and a clear final opinion. Make sure you answer both parts of the task and finish with a firm stance.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion: The essay uses the same phrase 'On the other hand' too often. Use a simple plan: intro, one paragraph for good points, one for bad points, and a short conclusion. Use linking words to connect ideas.
balance
It shows you can think about both sides of the topic.
structure
There is an attempt to use paragraphs and basic order.
lexical
You use common words that are easy for many readers.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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