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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The two pie charts below show the marital status of the populations of Canada and Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two pie charts illustrate the marital status of
Canada
Use synonyms
's and
Australia
Use synonyms
's population. Units are measured in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, in
Use synonyms
Canada
Punctuation problem
Canada,
show examples
 separated but not divorced was the biggest segment,
while
Linking Words
 divorced was the smallest status. In comparison,
married
Verb problem
being married
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 was the most significant part of
maritial
Correct your spelling
marital
 status in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and
divorced
Verb problem
being divorced
show examples
 made up the smallest part of the chart. In more detail, for both countries, the least
amount
Check wording
number
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 of people were divorced (1% for
Canada
Use synonyms
 and 2% for
Australia
Use synonyms
).
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Canada
Use synonyms
 experienced a mere 3% of same sex marriages, which were not seen in
Australia
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Canada
Use synonyms
 had 1% more widowed individuals than
Australia
Use synonyms
, 7% and 6%, respectively.
Population
Correct article usage
The population
show examples
 of single people was
also
Linking Words
 slightly higher, standing at 7% for
Canada
Use synonyms
 and 5% for
Australia
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, married and separated but not divorced were the biggest segments for both countries.
For example
Linking Words
, more than half of the population in
Canada
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 separated but not divorced,
although
Linking Words
Australia
Use synonyms
 had slightly
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
 individuals
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 status-41%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Australia
Use synonyms
 had more married couples, whooping 46%, but
Canada
Use synonyms
29
Verb problem
had 29
show examples
%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words canada, australia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • marital status
  • population
  • pie charts
  • percentage
  • categories
  • Married
  • Single
  • Divorced
  • Widowed
  • distribution
  • noticeable trends
  • comparison
  • significantly different
  • similarities
  • striking differences
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