IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions, which result from this energy use.

The pie charts present data about the usage of
energy
Use synonyms
 in an average Australian household, and the
gas
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 emissions resulting from that
use
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graphs that the amount of
gas
Use synonyms
 doesn't depend on how many items are consuming
energy
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, heating and water heating are the most
energy
Use synonyms
 consumers,
whereas
Linking Words
 cooling and lighting are the least.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown.
Although
Linking Words
 heating is the greatest
energy
Use synonyms
 absorber by 42%, it only produces 15% of
gas
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. The emissions coming from water heating are only 2% more than the proportion of its
use
Use synonyms
 of
energy
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, which
Check wording
use, which
show examples
 is 30%. The outputs of
gas
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 have the least percentage in cooling and lighting, by 3% and 8%, respectively;
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, lighting produces twice as much as
gas
Use synonyms
 compared to the value of
energy
Use synonyms
use
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. In terms of emissions of gases, heating and water heating are almost the main producers of
gas
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 output , by 47% of the
overall
Linking Words
 proportion. 11% of air pollution is caused
due to
Linking Words
 the
use
Use synonyms
 of cooling and lighting, which is a low amount compared to other factors.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, gas, use with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Sustainable practices
  • Energy efficiency
  • Renewable energy
  • Fossil fuels
  • Carbon footprint
  • Eco-friendly appliances
  • Insulation
  • Solar panels
  • Recycling
  • Climate change
  • Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
  • Emissions-intensive
  • Energy audit
  • Smart meters
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