IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of
members
Use synonyms
 for
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 activities
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a local social centre in Melbourne, Australia, between 2000 to 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
,
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
 club has the most
members
Use synonyms
 of all time, table tennis has the most significant
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
participation
Change preposition
in participation
show examples
, and amateur dramatics was the only activity with
decreasing
Correct article usage
a decreasing
show examples
number
Use synonyms
. 
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 2000 to 2005, musical performances
had
Verb problem
did
show examples
 not have any
enthusiast
Fix the agreement mistake
enthusiasts
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the other four categories
had already
Correct word order
already had
show examples
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
members
Use synonyms
. A decade after the initial year, amateur dramatics and table tennis
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the same
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of participants, which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 20
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, table tennis was at the point where the
number
Use synonyms
 starts to increase significantly until the end of the period,
while
Linking Words
 the opposite happens to amateur dramatics . In the same year, musical performances
starts
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 to have approximately 10
members
Use synonyms
 and increased until 2020. Film club and martial arts showed a
fluctuative
Correct your spelling
fluctuating
 trend throughout the period,
despite
Change preposition
although
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
were
Verb problem
did
show examples
 not significantly differ. In conclusion, over two decades, there was a shifting trend on
participants of
Correct word order
of participants
show examples
activities
Change preposition
in activities
show examples
 in the social centre.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, members with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • trends
  • significant increases/decreases
  • stable numbers
  • fluctuations
  • overall participation
  • comparison
  • activities
  • social centre
  • Melbourne
  • participants
  • highlight
  • report
  • graph illustrates/demonstrates
  • 20-year period
  • key features
  • main features
  • statistical data
  • variations
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