IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research,business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is a debate over
Correct word choice
whether that
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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information
Use synonyms
 ought
be
Verb problem
to be
show examples
 shared with others, with some saying that it needs to be
saved as
Verb problem
kept
show examples
 secret, and others arguing
it
Correct word choice
that it
show examples
 should be public.
While
Linking Words
 some
information
Use synonyms
 should be kept as not public. In my opinion, it should be free, as it is much better when it is used for educational reasons. Making
information
Use synonyms
 private can be useful
at
Change preposition
in
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 some cases as
they are
Verb problem
it
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help
Wrong verb form
helps
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 people be aware of some scientific
breakthroughts
Correct your spelling
breakthroughs
. In
resent
Use the right word
recent
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reseach
Correct your spelling
research
of
Change preposition
by
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 MIT
university
Fix capitalization
University
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 about publicity and privacy, it was shown that people who
very
Use the right word
were
show examples
 paying to get studies were more interested
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 data as it was more detailed than free ones.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, people who used
subscirbtions
Correct your spelling
subscriptions
 to get
information
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
apply
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had more knowledge
that
Correct word choice
than
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 students who used free sources.
Linking Words
Thus
Punctuation problem
Thus,
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 it is much better to date, like scientific
reseaches
Correct your spelling
research
 or high detailed statistics should not be produced
free for
Correct word order
for free
show examples
 public.)
Information
Use synonyms
 should be more
availabe
Correct your spelling
available
 for free users as it helps them to study freely without wasting any funds on data that can
be only
Correct word order
only be
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used
Verb problem
accessed
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through
Change preposition
by
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 paying. In studies of William Afton, it was
obversed
Correct your spelling
observed
 that students who were given non-free data without any fees
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 have gotten
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
much higher results
that
Correct word choice
than
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 used only free sources and were much better at understanding certain questions.
Thus
Linking Words
 proving that important statistics should be given to others without any fees. In conclusion,
some
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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certain statistics
outght
Correct your spelling
ought
 not to be shared without any kind of charges. Most of them should be free as it increases
level
Correct article usage
the level
show examples
 of education.

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task response
Make your answer more direct. Start with your view, then tell why. Then give a short example.
coherence cohesion
Make the writing flow better. Use one idea per paragraph and connect with simple links like also, but, so.
content
The essay shows a real topic and a view on sharing info.
attempt
There is an attempt to give ideas and some structure.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
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