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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar graph depicts the
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
 and tea drinking
behavior
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behaviour
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 of inhabitants of Sidney, Melbourne, Brisbane,
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 and Hobart, the five
stated
Replace the word
states
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 of Australia over a month.
Overall
Linking Words
, people
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 ordering their hot drinks in the cafe and avoided buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 across all five cities, except for
Adelaide
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, where
crowd
Correct article usage
the crowd
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 preferred buying instant
coffee
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 almost as much as visiting cafes. Melbourne had
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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 portion of approximately 68% cafe visitors, closely followed by Hobart and Sydney at around 66% and 62%, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, the
last
Linking Words
 choice of hot drinking residents
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 is buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
. The least of them are 34% in Brisbane
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the most of which are approximately 44% in Sydney.
Whereas
Linking Words
Adelaide
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 had only 49% people interested in sitting inside a cafe, which accounted
to
Change preposition
for
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 the lowest
of
Change preposition
apply
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percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
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, as compared to other states. 50% citizens of
Adelaide
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prioritized
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prioritised
show examples
 buying instant
coffee
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 over the other means, only having 4% less than the leading crowd with
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 preference in Hobart and 3%
lesser
Correct word choice
less
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 than the second leading Brisbane.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words adelaide, coffee with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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