IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 40 mins. Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that mobile
phones
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 play a crucial role not only in individuals’ lives but
also
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 in the economy.
While
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 many
people
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 believe that mobile
phones
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 should be banned in public places
such
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 as libraries, shops, and public transport, others argue that
such
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 a ban would cause more problems than benefits. In my opinion, banning mobile
phones
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 is not a practical solution because
people
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 rely heavily on them in their daily lives.
To begin
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 with, mobile
phones
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 have become extremely common in recent years. One major reason is that they make life more convenient, as
people
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 can order almost anything using their
phones
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.
In addition
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, another important advantage is saving money.
For example
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, if someone needs new jeans, they can compare prices on different websites and choose high-quality products at reasonable prices. Another point to consider is that mobile
phones
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 can have negative effects, as they may disturb others and cause frustration, especially in libraries.
However
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,
this
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 issue can be addressed through proper regulations rather than a complete ban.
For instance
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, many cities enforce rules
such
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 as using silent mode or limiting phone use in certain areas, which reduces disturbance without banning
phones
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 entirely.
Therefore
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, setting clear rules is a more effective solution. In conclusion,
although
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people
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 hold different opinions, I strongly believe that banning mobile
phones
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 in public places is a bad idea.
This
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 is because individuals depend on them for essential activities
such
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 as making payments, ordering transportation, and taking photos.
As a result
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, banning mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 would create inconvenience rather than improve public spaces.

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task
Give a clear view at the start and say why you think so.
content
Add stronger ideas and use easy, real examples to back them.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, but, so to keep a smooth flow.
structure
End with a short line that restates your view.
stance
The writer shows a clear view against the ban.
coherence
Good use of simple linking words.
organization
Paragraphs show idea in a clear order.
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