You should spend about 40 mins. Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying that mobile
phones
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play a crucial role not only in individuals’ lives but
also
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in the economy.
Although
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some
people
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believe that mobile
phones
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should not be used in public places, I disagree with banning them, as they have become an essential part of modern daily life.
To begin
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with, mobile
phones
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are widely used around the world because they help
people
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manage many everyday tasks when they are outside their homes.
For instance
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, individuals often rely on their
phones
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in public places
such
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as libraries or cafés to search for information, read digital books, or arrange transportation.
Moreover
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, smartphones make daily activities faster and more convenient, as many services are now available online.
For example
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,
instead
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of visiting shops and spending a long time choosing clothes,
people
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can simply use their
phones
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to shop online within minutes. Another important reason is that the COVID-19 pandemic significantly increased
people
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’s reliance on digital devices for work and communication. Since 2020, many employees and companies have shifted to online systems, which has made smartphones and other devices indispensable in public and professional settings.
As a result
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,
people
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now use their
phones
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not only for entertainment but
also
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for reading, working, and accessing essential services.
For instance
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, I personally prefer reading digital books on my phone rather than buying paper books. In conclusion, despite differing opinions, I firmly believe that banning mobile
phones
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in public places is unnecessary. Mobile
phones
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have become essential tools that support daily activities, communication, and access to services, making them an important part of modern life.

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positive
Your position is clear and you give reasons. Keep this strong.
coherence
Link ideas more cleanly. Use simple joins like 'also', 'but', 'however' and connect each idea to the task.
task
Give more specific example and explain 'why' the point matters. Avoid repeating ideas.
strength
Clear stance and many good examples
structure
Intro and conclusion are present
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