IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Everyone should stay in school until the age of eighteen. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that education plays a crucial role not only in the lives of individuals but
also
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 in the economy.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that every child should
study
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 in school until the age of eighteen, there is
also
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 an argument that opposite it. In my opinion, I consider that young
people
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 should
study
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 until eighteen.
To begin
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 with, the school is essential to build their knowledge and gain so much important information because they are ready for adult life.
In other words
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, teachers teach children
like
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about
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 their language and learn them about who they are
geography
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, geography
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, at an advanced
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level
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levels
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levels,
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 learn them foreign languages and various cultures, which makes them more intelligent.
For example
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, the
study
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 showed that
people
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 who
study
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 until teenagare ages their have more abilities in different parts. Another point to consider, teenagers have more abilities to face their challenges because
being
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they are
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 under pressure to pass exams with higher marks
and
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, and
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 they really do it , which makes them more trustworthy.
Moreover
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, they are becoming more independent
on
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of
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 themselves self like doing their homework by themselves.
For instance
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, if young
people
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 learning all these habits and information, they might a better
people
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 with higher education in the future.
as
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As
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result
Correct article usage
a result
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,
benefits
Correct pronoun usage
it benefits
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 our nation by
become
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becoming
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 productive in their
pasion
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passion
like
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, like
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become
Wrong verb form
becoming
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 Doctors,
teacher
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teachers
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,
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or scientist
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scientist
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scientists
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. In conclusion, despite
people
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 having different views. I believe that everyone should have a good education until the eighteen with all
this
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 knowledge that may benefit them in future.
Furthermore
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, in our
culture
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culture,
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 there is a santance grandparents
said
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said,
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"teach
people
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 when their
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 like drawing in a rock. That
express
Correct subject-verb agreement
expresses
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 how important
Correct pronoun usage
it are
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples

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task response
Plan your answer. Say your view in the first line and keep to it. Each paragraph should have one main idea that links to your view.
coherence
Use clear paragraphs. Have an intro, 2 or 3 body paragraphs, and a short ending. Each paragraph should have a main idea and a couple of details.
task response
Make ideas simple and clear. Give examples that are easy to see and explain. Use short, direct sentences.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas, like 'also', 'but', 'for example', and 'in addition' to help flow.
task response
You take a clear position and try to support it.
coherence
You use paragraphs and some links to show more than one idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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