Childhood obesity /əʊˈbiː.sə.ti/ is becoming a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this? What solutions can be offered?

Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in many countries
mainly
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, mainly
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because of unhealthy eating habits and inactive lifestyles. Many
children
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regularly consume fast
food
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, sugary drinks, and packaged snacks because these foods are cheap, easily available, and heavily advertised on television and social media.
In addition
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, busy parents often depend on ready-made meals and may not have time to prepare healthy
food
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at home. At the same time,
children
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spend long hours using mobile phones, watching videos, or playing games indoors, which reduces physical movement and increases weight gain.
This
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growing problem can be reduced through joint efforts from families, schools, and governments. Parents can encourage healthier habits by cooking balanced meals at home and limiting junk
food
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consumption. Involving
children
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in simple cooking activities can
also
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help them understand healthy choices. Schools should provide nutritious meals and make physical activities a daily part of school life, not only during sports classes. Governments can support these efforts by controlling
food
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advertisements aimed at
children
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and by building safe parks and playgrounds to encourage outdoor play. In conclusion, childhood obesity is mainly caused by
poor
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a poor
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diet and
lack
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a lack
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of physical activity in modern life.
However
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, with small but consistent changes at home, school, and community levels,
this
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problem can be controlled. Promoting healthy habits from an early age is essential for improving
children
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’s
overall
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health and future well-being.

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Task response
To raise the task score, add more on why the causes lead to obesity and give clear steps children can take, with two or more specific actions for each solution.
Coherence
Improve how ideas are linked. Use more linking words and keep each paragraph focused on one main idea.
Structure
Open with a short intro that states the topic, and end with a clear conclusion that restates the main idea.
Language
Keep language simple and clear. Some words are a bit hard; use basic words from common daily use.
structure
Clear plan that covers causes and solutions.
content
Good examples from real life (fast food, ads, school meals).
cohesion
Good flow and some smooth links between ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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