IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write atleast 250 words.

Much
people
Use synonyms
 are hiring a personal fitness training , because i think
people
Use synonyms
 feel better and confidence when they playing with their coach ,they play much better than playing sports or doing exercice classes but the first reason much peaple get influenced from the famous person or something like that because its a trend to do a personel
trainer
Use synonyms
 and do story for instagram or social media , they have a personal coach but at real it's not something special or change at all it,s the same like when someone trein with personal
trainer
Use synonyms
 or doing exercice classes it's the same objectif ,
Linking Words
Fix capitalization
Also
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also
Punctuation problem
also,
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in
Change preposition
on
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other
Correct article usage
the other
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side
Punctuation problem
side,
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 are sick
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 they need to do the sport
the
Punctuation problem
. The
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trainer
Use synonyms
go to
Wrong verb form
goes
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 home
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they show them how to do
tthe
Correct your spelling
the
 sport
he
Punctuation problem
. He
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 them
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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at
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
 side
Punctuation problem
, its
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its
Use the right word
it's
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 a good idea.
Linking Words
Also
Punctuation problem
Also,
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 some
people
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
don't know how to play the
trainer
Use synonyms
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them at the first session to learn them how to play
how
Correct word choice
and how
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 to move . At least it's the personal
Use synonyms
trainer
Punctuation problem
trainer,
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 it's good
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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i
Fix capitalization
I
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 see
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
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people
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 do that just
for
Change preposition
to
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flowing
Verb problem
follow
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 the
people
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they
influence
Wrong verb form
are influenced
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from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the famous persons

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structure
Give a clear plan for your essay. Start with a brief intro, then body paragraphs with a single main idea, and end with a short conclusion.
content
Explain ideas with clear reasons and simple examples. Avoid repeating the same point.
coherence
Use linking words to move from one idea to the next, e.g., First, Next, Also, But, In addition, Finally.
accuracy
Check grammar and spelling to make your point clear.
content
The topic is set and there is a view about the issue.
content
The writer tries to discuss both sides of the issue (trainers can help some people).
content
Some simple ideas are given about why people hire a trainer and how this can be seen in social media.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • personal fitness trainer
  • exercise classes
  • sports
  • health and fitness
  • personalized fitness plans
  • nutritional guidance
  • social media
  • celebrity culture
  • individualized attention
  • fitness goals
  • busy lifestyles
  • accountability
  • motivation
  • workout regime
  • fitness journey
What to do next:
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