IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows the life cycle of the Monarch butterfly.

The diagram illustrates
cyclic
Correct article usage
the cyclic
show examples
 process of
life
Correct article usage
the life
show examples
 of
Monarch
Correct article usage
the Monarch
show examples
 butterfly.
Overall
Linking Words
,development from eggs
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 laid and
ended
Wrong verb form
ends
show examples
 with migration to
south
Correct article usage
the south
show examples
. A process of evolution consists of five stages.
At the first
Linking Words
stage
Use synonyms
, it started from
migration
Replace the word
migrating
show examples
 adult butterflies to
north
Correct article usage
the north
show examples
 and ended with producing eggs by mating. After, we can observe that they
storaged
Correct your spelling
stored
 eggs on the milkweed and after 14 days
newly
Punctuation problem
, newly
show examples
 hatched
harva imerged
Correct your spelling
larvae emerged
. At the second
stage
Use synonyms
, the newly hatched harva
starting
Wrong verb form
starts
show examples
 to grow and transform into the
cartepillar
Correct your spelling
caterpillar
. On the next
stage
Use synonyms
, demonstrated attachment of
larva
Correct article usage
the larva
show examples
. As the evolution
starting
Wrong verb form
starts
show examples
 occurring,
larva
Correct article usage
the larva
show examples
 turns into
crystalysis
Correct your spelling
a crystal
. At the pupal
stage
Use synonyms
, after
Correct your spelling
crystallisation
crystalysis
Punctuation problem
crystalysis,
show examples
 young
butterfly
Fix the agreement mistake
butterflies
show examples
starting
Wrong verb form
start to
show examples
 appear.
Finally
Linking Words
, adult
butterfly
Fix the agreement mistake
butterflies
show examples
 grow in size,
then
Linking Words
turns
Correct subject-verb agreement
turn
show examples
 into
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adult
butterfly
Fix the agreement mistake
butterflies
show examples
 and
ending
Wrong verb form
end
show examples
wiht migrationto
Correct your spelling
with migration to
south
Correct article usage
the south
show examples
. After that
cyclic
Punctuation problem
, cyclic
show examples
 growth repeats itself over and over again, starting and ending with migration.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words stage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: