IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that online study is the most effective and convenient way to learn. Others believe that online study will never be as effective as learning at school, in person. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent days, people are starting to say that studying online at home is better than attending classes at school because it can help to reduce stress, expenses and raise independence,
while
Linking Words
 there are others who think quite the opposite, and I
also
Linking Words
 agree with them. In
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will discuss each side thoroughly and state my opinion. On the one hand, learning at home may be best for some, and the motive behind
that is
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because
Change preposition
that
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 it helps the students from getting distracted;
for example
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, chatty classmates may bother their mate when they are solving a function.
Also
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, it helps decrease anxiety, and the reason why is that some seniors or juniors do not like crowded places or do not have good social skills, so they tend to believe that staying at their residence is better than going to the academy. As for independence, it encourages the learners to depend on themselves more
instead
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 of asking for help from the teacher, which increases their IQ and their skills,
such
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 as problem-solving, time management and creativity.
On the other hand
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, not going to school may cause different consequences;
for instance
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,
it is clear that
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 if a person does not surround themself with individuals for a long period, they are more likely to lose their social skills and forget how to treat people. And to add to that, they may draw their attention to something else,
such
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 as playing games or watching films,
instead
Linking Words
 of opening the lectures on time. In my opinion, I believe that parents should send their children to institutions rather than
offering
Verb problem
allowing
show examples
 them to be home-schooled. Which will result in them having to engage with the real world and people their own age
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 make friends.
To conclude
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,
while
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 online teaching may have its benefits, it could
also
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 affect the undergraduates in a bad way, and
that is
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 why it is important for students to go to school so they can earn support and find a better learning facility environment.

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task
Task response: Expand on both sides with more specific reasons and evidence. Add at least two clear examples for each view. State a concise opinion in the introduction or conclusion.
cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use linking words more carefully and ensure ideas flow logically. Use consistent paragraphing: one paragraph per main idea plus a distinct conclusion.
grammar
Grammar and accuracy: Check common errors with subject-verb, article use, and noun phrases. Shorten very long sentences, and avoid repetition.
lexical
Lexical resource: Use simpler, accurate words instead of long phrases; avoid misused phrases like 'increase their IQ' as that's not appropriate; use 'improve thinking skills' instead.
task
Conclusion: End with a clear, supported position and a brief summary of the main reasons.
content
There is a clear view on the topic and a stance is given.
structure
The essay uses simple structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
content
Some examples connect to the topic, such as stress and social skills.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Effective
  • Convenient
  • Flexibility
  • Structured environment
  • Interactive resources
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Communication skills
  • Diverse educational materials
  • Collaborative learning
  • Procrastination
  • Commuting
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