IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free times. This can benefit teenagers and benefit the community as well. To what extend do you agree or disagree,

There is no denying the fact that some people think that
teenagers
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 must do unpaid
society
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work
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 in their free time.
This
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 could help
teenagers
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 and benefit
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
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 as well.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that
teenagers
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 have to do
work
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 without money in their free
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that working without money for
teenagers
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 can lead to great benefits for them and the community.
To begin
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 with,
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This
Fix capitalization
this
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work
Use synonyms
 will help their mental and physical health.
In other words
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, when they do their tasks ,they will move their bodies
,
Punctuation problem
;
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therefore
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, it will have
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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 impact on their health.
In addition
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, they can learn a lot of things during their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
For example
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, many members of
society
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 tend to do unpaid jobs
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due
Change preposition
apply
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to
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
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 their health. Another point to consider, it will help the economy because of
unpaid
Correct article usage
the unpaid
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works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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. It is
also
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 possible to say that it will build a good
conect
Correct your spelling
connection
 between
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 and the
teenagers
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.
Moreover
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, it will have a lot of
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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 for them,
such
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 as
increasing
Wrong verb form
an increase
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 in the economy and healthcare.
For instance
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, many people prefer to
work
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 without money to help the community. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that if we let the
teenagers
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work
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Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
, this
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 will help us as older
and
Check wording
people and
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 the
society
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 in
genera
Use the right word
general
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.
Therefore
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, we need to tell them the
important
Replace the word
importance
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 of working so that when
the
Use the right word
they
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 grow
up
Punctuation problem
up,
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 they can
work
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 in any place that
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
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.
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Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 they will
able
Verb problem
be able
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 to
work
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 with any payment
due to
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 the experience that they have
taken
Verb problem
gained
show examples
.

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Task Response
State a clear position in each paragraph and fully answer all parts of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear topic sentences and linking words to show how ideas go from one to the next.
Task Response
Add a strong end that restates your view and sums up main points.
Task Response
Give more specific examples to back each point.
Grammar and Accuracy
Check grammar and fix common errors to help be easier to read.
Strength
You show a clear view on the topic.
Strategy
You try to talk about both sides.
Style
The writing is easy to read in parts.
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