IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In some countries young people are not only richer, but also safer and healtier than ever before. However, they are often less happy and more agiatated in actions and behaviors. what do you think are the reasons for this and what can be done to help?

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Introduction
There is no denying the fact that people in some
countres
Correct your spelling
countries
 are much
welthyer
Correct your spelling
wealthier
 and protected more than
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
insisrters
Correct your spelling
inhabitants
.
Linking Words
However
Punctuation problem
However,
show examples
Use synonyms
thay
Correct your spelling
they
 are not as
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
happy,
ratherly
Correct your spelling
rather they
thay
Use synonyms
 are more
agiatated
Correct your spelling
aggravated
 in
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 own actions.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the reasons that
Use synonyms
thay maite
Correct your spelling
they may
 be
afected
Correct your spelling
affected
 by and the solution
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
bresint
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present
 for them.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are many ways to afford help for
yong
Correct your spelling
young
 people with these
caind
Correct your spelling
kinds
 of symptoms.
Firstly
Linking Words
, offering them cytological help
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 psychological therapy.
Linking Words
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 other words, starting with
medical
Correct article usage
a medical
show examples
 solution by studying
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 psychological stats will
provid
Correct your spelling
provide
 us with info that
wil
Correct your spelling
will
 be
uesful
Correct your spelling
useful
 in
further
Linking Words
 steps.
Body paragraph 2
In addition
Linking Words
 ,
limeting
Correct your spelling
limiting
 social-media axis will
but
Verb problem
have but
show examples
 huge
positve
Correct your spelling
positive
affect
Use the right word
effect
show examples
.
Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
show examples
 example, there is
study
Correct article usage
a study
show examples
 done
prove
Correct subject-verb agreement
proves
show examples
 that
social-media
Use the right word
social media
show examples
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
mentil helth
Correct your spelling
mental health
 by
gaving
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giving
 free
Dobamen
Correct your spelling
dopamine
 to the mind
with out
Use the right word
without
show examples
effort
Punctuation problem
effort,
show examples
wich
Use the right word
which
show examples
affets Dopamen scals
Correct your spelling
affects dopamine scales
.
Body paragraph 3
In terms of why it
hapend
Correct your spelling
happened
,the change in
peoples
Check wording
people's
show examples
 way of
liveing
Correct your spelling
living
 my answer is
progressively
Replace the word
progressive
show examples
. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that it is because of
life style
Use the right word
lifestyle
show examples
 changes in
peoples
Check wording
people's
show examples
routen
Correct your spelling
routines
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, considering the tairing
gravig
Correct your spelling
gravity
 for financial
Correct your spelling
improvement
improvment
Punctuation problem
improvment,
show examples
 it is
surly
Use the right word
surely
show examples
 affecting
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
For instance
Linking Words
,
businessman
Fix the agreement mistake
businessmen
show examples
sufer
Correct your spelling
suffer
 from depression.
Conclusion
In
conclusione
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, there are many reasons for young
peoples
Check wording
people's
show examples
condetions
Correct your spelling
conditions
. It is
also
Linking Words
 true that
Use synonyms
thay
Correct your spelling
they
 are in need
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 help.

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improvement
Answer both parts of the task in a clear way: give main reasons and give at least one clear plan or solution for each part.
improvement
Make a clear plan before you write. Use paragraphs, one idea in each paragraph, and start with a topic sentence.
improvement
Use simple grammar and spell common words well. Check errors in verb form and noun plural.
improvement
Give a simple example for each main point to show your idea.
improvement
Link ideas with small words like and, but, so, also, because to help flow.
content
The piece is trying to address causes and a way to help.
structure
There is an attempt to use an intro and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • competitive environment
  • societal expectations
  • educational pressures
  • job market competition
  • pervasive influence
  • social media
  • feelings of inadequacy
  • emotional fulfillment
  • lack of purpose
  • real-world connections
  • community support
  • digital interactions
  • mental health support
  • stress management
  • emotional resilience
  • offline activities
  • community service
  • outdoor sports
  • sense of belonging
  • holistic education
  • academic achievements
  • digital literacy
  • self-esteem
  • mental well-being
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