IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of houses sold in 8 countries in the world for more then 5 million US dollars in 2009 and 2014.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows how many
houses
Use synonyms
 sold in the world, which are worth more than 5 million dollars , in 8
countries
Use synonyms
 between 2009 and 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, all
countries
Use synonyms
 demonstrated different experiences during the time period.
While
Linking Words
 in 2009,
such
Linking Words
houses
Use synonyms
 were sold less, in 2014, they increased significantly. Regarding London , which dominated in 2009 with 523 sold homes .
However
Linking Words
, at he same time, it showed the lowest point at 12
houses
Use synonyms
. The number of expensive residences sold in Sydney and Los Angeles was approximately the same . Notably, the number of homes in New York was twice
than
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 of Miami and Hong Kong.
By contrast
Linking Words
, in
2014
Punctuation problem
2014,
show examples
 in all 8
countries
Use synonyms
 number of
houses
Use synonyms
 sold for more than 5 million dollars rose significantly, especially in London. The modifications in Miami and Los Angeles were not very visible.
However
Linking Words
,changes in other
countries
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Sydney, Hong Kong, and New York were double more
than
Change preposition
as
show examples
 in 2009. Notably, London rose three times in 2014, from 523 to 1638.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, such".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words houses, countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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