IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Research has shown that the transportation of products and people are the main source of pollution. Some people believe the Government should be in charge of this, while others believe it is the fault of individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is a debate over who is responsible
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the movement of
people
Use synonyms
 and
goods
Punctuation problem
goods,
show examples
 since it causes a lot of pollution to the environment, some saying it is a
government
Use synonyms
 duty, others arguing it is a mistake of a particular person. In my opinion, even though
people
Use synonyms
 play an important role in carrying and
delivery
Replace the word
delivering
show examples
,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 is the main figure in
this
Linking Words
 system. At the same time, many individuals prefer to use their own car,
while
Linking Words
 there are a lot of types of public
transport
Use synonyms
. The usage of private
cars
Use synonyms
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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 carbon dioxide emissions.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 choose
drive
Verb problem
to drive
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
short distances,
although
Linking Words
 walking or cycling would be less harmful
for
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature.
For instance
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 drive to nearby shops or schools,
while
Linking Words
 they can get there by walking.
Overall
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should understand the negative
effacts
Correct your spelling
effects
 of using
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 is
reponsible
Correct your spelling
responsible
 as
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 has power and resources. Administration controls vehicle
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 like roads, public
transport
Use synonyms
,
aviation
Correct word choice
and aviation
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they
Linking Words
also can
Correct word order
can also
show examples
 improve public
transport
Use synonyms
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
 will
less
Correct word order
apply
show examples
use their own
cars
Use synonyms
.
Correct word order
less.
show examples
Also
Linking Words
, investments in electric
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 and building special paths for bicycles
possible
Verb problem
are possible
show examples
 only at the state level.
For example
Linking Words
, building bicycle paths and
electronic
Correct article usage
an electronic
show examples
transport
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
system will
significiantly
Correct your spelling
significantly
 reduce pollution. In conclusion, despite that
people
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
 responsible
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 using
type
Correct article usage
the type
show examples
 of
transport
Use synonyms
 to reduce
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
, I think it is the main responsibility of
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 as they have more influence than individuals. 

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task response
Make a clear plan before you write. Start with a short intro that state both views, then give your own opinion, and finish with a brief conclusion.
coherence
Work on linking ideas. Use simple words like also, but, however, and next to show how ideas go together. Make each paragraph have one main idea.
content
The essay gives a view and shows your own opinion.
structure
Some good ideas are shown on how the government can cut pollution.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emissions standards
  • public transportation
  • green technologies
  • environmentally friendly choices
  • carpooling
  • electric vehicles
  • market demand
  • infrastructure
  • recycling programs
  • policies and regulations
  • investment
  • innovate
  • compelling industries
What to do next:
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