IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some poeple say politician hold more power to protect enviornment , not the inviduals as indivudals can do too little. to what extent do you agree ?

There is an ongoing debate about who is responsible for protecting the
environment
Use synonyms
. Some people argue that government officials are primarily accountable for environmental protection rather than the public because their contributions are significantly limited. In my opinion, I disagree with
this
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 statement as it requires a balanced approach from both perspectives.
This
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 essay will examine my views with relevant examples in detail.
To begin
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 with, the government officials are authorised to enforce strict policies to deter environmental damage. Owing to
this
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, when there is an official policy announced,
for instance
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, imposing taxes on industries that contribute to higher carbon emissions, nobody can reject the policy.
Consequently
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, everyone should adhere to policies, which will eventually protect the
environment
Use synonyms
 from significant impacts
such
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 as air pollution. As an example, in Western countries, a carbon tax was imposed in the year 2024, though some companies acted against the new taxation policy
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
finally
Linking Words
, they agreed to pay taxes considering the consequences.
Hence
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, politicians can contribute significantly by leveraging their authority in protecting nature.
Secondly
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, individuals
also
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 hold a significant responsibility towards protecting our
environment
Use synonyms
.
That is
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 to say that
,
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apply
show examples
 people should actively engage in taking measures against environmental damage ,
such
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 as proper waste management, minimise the usage of plastic products, which can contribute to the
overall
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 health
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and well-being of the community.
For instance
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, a recent study revealed that, in India, voluntary campaigns are organised by teenagers to clean the water system in the surrounding lakes
,
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apply
show examples
 and rivers.
Therefore
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, it is fair that everyone acts
accordingly
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 to maintain a clean
environment
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
although
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 politicians have a significant authority to enforce strict policies, individuals must engage equally to protect our surroundings from potential environmental impacts. So, I strongly believe that it's a balanced approach from both perspectives , which will enhance the
overall
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 environmental protection

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grammar
Fix the grammar and word form. Use the same tense and shorter sentences where needed.
coherence
Make the idea in each paragraph easy to follow. Start with a clear point and link ideas with simple words like also, but, so.
lexical
Use more clear and real examples that match your point and explain how they show your idea.
structure
Good plan and normal order of ideas. The essay shows both sides.
content
It has a clear end that restates the idea.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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