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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the reasons of students to study a particular in a UK university in the year 1987 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main points and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts illustrate the main reasons why students chose a particular university in the UK in 1987 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, suitable degree courses were consistently the most important factor in both years,
while
Linking Words
 the least significant reason changed from proximity to parental home in 1987 to good
sports
Use synonyms
 and social
activities
Use synonyms
 in 2007.
In addition
Linking Words
, the proportions of students choosing universities for good
sports
Use synonyms
 and social
activities
Use synonyms
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 well as
Use synonyms
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of
resources
Punctuation problem
resources,
show examples
 declined over the period. In 1987, suitable degree courses accounted for the largest proportion, at 35%, followed by
quality
Use synonyms
 of resources at 21%.
By contrast
Linking Words
, none of the remaining categories
exceed
Correct subject-verb agreement
exceeds
show examples
 20%, with proximity to parental home accounting for the smallest share, at 10%. Meanwhile,
Use synonyms
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of teaching and good
sports
Use synonyms
 and social
activities
Use synonyms
 accounted for 15% and 19%, respectively. In 2007,
while
Linking Words
 suitable degree courses remained the most important factor and saw a moderate increase to 37%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, proximity to parental home increased substantially to 22%, becoming the second most significant reason.
Quality
Use synonyms
 of teaching remained relatively stable, rising slightly to 18%.
However
Linking Words
, the proportions choosing good
sports
Use synonyms
 and social
activities
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of resources fell markedly to 6% and 17%, respectively, in 2007.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sports, activities, quality with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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