IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that the range of technology available to individuals today is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others say that it is having the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In our modern era
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technologies
Punctuation problem
, technologies
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 are impacting almost everyone. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 argument. I will begin by explaining that there is a wide
market
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 for poor
people
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and
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, and
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 I will continue by showing that poor
people
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 can have a way to have expensive
article
Fix the agreement mistake
articles
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. As a starting point, in the world
market
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 of
technologies
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 there is a huge part granted to low-end
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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and
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, and
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 it’s increasing year by year .
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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according to
Linking Words
 some
studies
Add a comma
studies,
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 more than 50% of
laptop
Correct article usage
the laptop
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market
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 dedicated to
low-end
Correct article usage
the low-end
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market
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.
it
Fix capitalization
It
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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technologies
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 more accessible to
people
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 with a low budget.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
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 it
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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 the gap
for
Change preposition
in
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technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
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accesibilities
Correct your spelling
accessibility
 between rich and poor
people
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. Turning to another aspect related to high-end
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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, there is a
big
Correct word choice
large
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amount
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 of refurbished
technologies
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. It gives the opportunity to poor
people
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 to buy a
product
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 which
originally was
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was originally
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 expensive. In my
experience
Punctuation problem
experience,
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 when I was a teenager, someone
sell
Wrong verb form
sold
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 me
a
Correct article usage
an
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 electric scooter for $500
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it cost $2000 when it was new. It gives the chances for
people
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 who can afford $2000 to have a nice electric scooter.
Thereby
Punctuation problem
Thereby,
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refurbish
Wrong verb form
refurbished
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 are a way to close the gap between
people
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 with a huge
amount
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 of money and others with a lower
a
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apply
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amount
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.
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Overall
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Overall,
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 the tremendous
amount
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budget-friendly
Change preposition
of budget-friendly
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technologies
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 and refurbished
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 which
were
Wrong verb form
are
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 at prices more
expensive
Correct word choice
affordable than
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 before
,
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apply
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 are the reasons that I believe
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the range of
technologies
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 is decreasing the gap between rich and poor
people
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.

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content
Show both views and give your own clear opinion at the end.
structure
Make a plan. Write a short intro and a clear conclusion.
grammar
Use short, simple sentences. fix common grammar mistakes like 'it’s' vs 'its' and 'there is'.
coherence
Link ideas with simple connectors such as first, also, but, however, and finally.
evidence
Give real and simple examples or numbers to back your point.
idea
The essay has a real idea that cheap tech can help poor people.
evidence
The writer uses a real example (refurbished scooter) to show a point.
perspective
The piece shows a personal touch by sharing a past experience.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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