IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays, many
adults
Fix the agreement mistake
adult
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people
Use synonyms
 still
cannot
Verb problem
do not
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now
Use the right word
know
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 about something between
right
Use synonyms
 and wrong. Because of
that
Punctuation problem
that,
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 there is an opinion
says
Correct pronoun usage
that says
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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its
Use the right word
it's
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 important to
teah childern
Correct your spelling
teach children
 the
differene
Correct your spelling
difference
 between
right
Use synonyms
 and wrong. And
also
Linking Words
 say,
punishment
Use synonyms
 is necessary to help them learn the
distincion
Correct your spelling
distinction
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay writer will talk about
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 problems and give an argument. As we know,
in
Change preposition
according to
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 that opinion
say that
Verb problem
,
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 young
people
Use synonyms
 must learn how to know the difference
in
Change preposition
between
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 wrong and
Use synonyms
right
Correct word choice
wrong
show examples
. If
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 learn about
this
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in
Change preposition
at
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young
Correct article usage
a young
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 age, they can use
this
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 information in their life.
Such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 when they
using
Wrong verb form
use
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 social media, learn, or
socialize
Change the spelling
socialise
show examples
 with others. Why must
teach
Correct pronoun usage
we teach
show examples
this
Linking Words
 to
childern
Correct your spelling
children
? because if
gives
Correct pronoun usage
it gives
show examples
this
Linking Words
 lesson to
adults
Fix the agreement mistake
adult
show examples
people
Use synonyms
, they do not accept
this
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materials
Fix the agreement mistake
material
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 easily or
mmust
Correct your spelling
must
 learn with extra energy. And if young
people
Use synonyms
 learn about
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 materials, they can solve
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems or avoid
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conflics
Correct your spelling
conflicts
 with others without getting
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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to
Change preposition
from
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 their parents or teachers.
On the other hand
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,
people
Use synonyms
 say to help
people
Use synonyms
 understand
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the difference. They must
get
Verb problem
face
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
punishment
Use synonyms
 when they choose the wrong things.
Usually
Add a comma
Usually,
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 it can be
right
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it can be wrong. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it can make
people
Use synonyms
 remember
about
Change preposition
apply
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the
concequence
Correct your spelling
consequence
 if they
doing
Wrong verb form
do
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a bad thing.
However
Linking Words
, it can
also
Linking Words
make
Verb problem
cause
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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trauma to
people
Use synonyms
 who
get
Verb problem
receive
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a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
punishment
Use synonyms
. Because of that, it depends
about
Change preposition
on
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 the context or kind of
punishment
Use synonyms
. In
conclude
Replace the word
conclusion
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, I totally agree with the
firts
Correct your spelling
first
 opinion. Because it can help
people
Use synonyms
 to
more
Verb problem
be more
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 independent, and make them more
intellegent
Correct your spelling
intelligent
 to choose something.
Neverthless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
, I do not really agree with the second statement. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it can
make
Verb problem
cause
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 trauma or make they more bad in
choosing
Verb problem
making
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dicision
Correct your spelling
decisions
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it depends kind of problems and the person who
doing
Verb problem
is doing
show examples
 that.

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task response
Make your view clear in the first paragraph and stick to it. State your main idea simply and back it up with one or two strong points.
structure
Plan your essay in 4 paragraphs: intro, 2 body paragraphs, and a short conclusion. Each body paragraph should have one main point and a simple example.
coherence
Use topic sentences to start each paragraph and use simple linking words like but, and, also, so, because to join ideas.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling. Focus on subject-verb and correct many common errors. Keep to short, clear sentences to be easy to read.
content
Use examples to support your point. These can be general, but they should show how the idea works in real life.
vocabulary
Try to use a wider set of simple words. But do not use hard words that you do not know well.
structure
There is a defined view and a clear end.
coherence
The piece uses some linking words to connect ideas.
content
It has an introduction and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral education
  • sense of responsibility and empathy
  • positive reinforcement
  • constructive punishment
  • loss of privileges
  • mental health
  • understanding of authority and discipline
  • ethical implications
  • humane and justifiable
  • cultural perspectives
  • disciplinary measures
What to do next:
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