IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the percentage of people with mobile phones who use various features on their phone between 2006 and 2010.

The table illustrates the proportion of people who
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
use different
features
Use synonyms
 on their phones in 2006, 2008, and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 calls experienced the largest percentage of usage over the period compared to the
features
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, all
features
Use synonyms
 saw
Correct article usage
an increased
show examples
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 throughout the period except make calls and play games
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 slightly. In terms of
make
Verb problem
the number of
show examples
 calls made
up
Punctuation problem
, up
show examples
 100% in the first
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
, before falling by 1% in 2010. Remaining the feature with the highest proportion.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
play
Replace the word
playing
show examples
 games increased significantly from 17% in 2006 to 42% in 2008 and dropped to 41% in 2010. As for
search
Replace the word
searching
show examples
 the internet and
record
Replace the word
recording
show examples
video
Punctuation problem
video,
show examples
had
Verb problem
there was
show examples
 no data in 2006.
However
Linking Words
, both
features
Use synonyms
 accounted for 41% and 9% in 2008, respectively, and
then
Linking Words
raise
Verb problem
rose
show examples
 dramatically to 73% and 35% in the final year, respectively.
Take
Wrong verb form
Taking
show examples
 photos and
send
Wrong verb form
sending
show examples
 and
receive
Wrong verb form
receiving
show examples
 text
massages
Use the right word
messages
show examples
 showed growth, with
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 photos
stood
Wrong verb form
standing
show examples
 at 66% in 2006, reaching 76% by 2010,
while
Linking Words
send
Wrong verb form
sending
show examples
 and
receive
Wrong verb form
receiving
show examples
 text
massages
Use the right word
messages
show examples
 increased moderately
peaking
Punctuation problem
, peaking
show examples
 at 79% in 2010. When it comes to
play
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
 music feature witnessed an upward trend, with 12% in 2006, reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
26% in 2010.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words features with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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