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Writing Samples
Band 5

With the increasing use and development of new technology, many machine are new able to do the work which people used to perform. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, the digital and technological worlds are evolving rapidly, creating and generating devices that are able to do the work
instead
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 of humans. There are many benefits of
this
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 trend;
however
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, it
also
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 has many drawbacks that cannot outweigh the advantages. In
this
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 essay, I will explain each side thoroughly. On the one hand,
machines
Use synonyms
 have become a crucial part of our lives that can help reduce time, save costs and provide accurate quality. In the past, people used to write papers using their hands, which used to take a lot of time and effort, but now that has changed with many tools,
such
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 as computers, printers and AI, where you can introduce your topic
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they will arrange the ideas and paragraphs for you.
Also
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, gadgets help decrease the price of individuals' labour;
for example
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,
instead
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 of hiring 5 employees to help move products around the factory, you can purchase 1 robot with the same fee as these
workers
Punctuation problem
workers,
show examples
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is intelligent and fast.
Furthermore
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,
machines
Use synonyms
 have certain functions
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
that can help with getting the work done and can operate without any errors. In comparison, there are people who may forget how to arrange a specific product, which may result in different mistakes.
On the other hand
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, one of the many disadvantages of
machines
Use synonyms
 is that they can easily
make
Verb problem
create
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 problems.
For instance
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, if we talk about desktops, they may face problems
such
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 as broken links and slow downloading of some files.
In addition
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, there are some
machines
Use synonyms
 that are expensive, and not everybody can buy them,
such
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 as washing
machines
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, PCs and devices that have good processors,
hence
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 i7 and i9.
To conclude
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, humans are still important to our society and play a huge role in our community;
thus
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, the cause of the creation of AI and the digital world is humans, and without them, they may lack in coding or functioning.

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task response
Make your view clear at the end. Say if you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
content
Add more real, simple examples that fit the topic and link them to your points.
grammar
Check grammar and use simple words to prevent wrong meaning.
coherence
Use linking words to connect ideas and keep the flow (for example, also, however, therefore).
structure
Two clear sides are given and the essay has an ending.
coherence
Good use of signposts like On the one hand / On the other hand.
task
Intro and conclusion are present.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • technology
  • machine
  • work
  • people
  • advantage
  • disadvantage
  • benefit
  • loss
  • speed
  • accuracy
  • time
  • cost
  • safe
  • danger
  • job
  • replace
  • create
  • train
  • education
  • policy
  • plan
  • skill
  • repair
  • maintenance
  • privacy
  • security
  • quality
  • workload
  • dependence
  • efficiency
  • growth
  • equal
  • opportunity
  • future
  • balance
  • use
  • risk
  • benefits
  • drawbacks
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