IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Everyone can get access to the internet : You should spend 40 minutes on this task. Write on the following topic: In some countries, many people do not have enough money to access the internet. Should governments be responsible for ensuring that everyone can get access to the internet? Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

The massive burden of providing a social welfare system for city dwellers rests on the shoulders of high-ranking officials.
While
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 some opine that the government should provide a public network for all residents, others argue that authorities are not in charge of doing
such
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 a thing. In my view, having easy
access
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 to the
internet
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 is one of the primary rights of those who are living in
this
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 contemporary era. On the one hand, some important
issues
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 must be considered by the administrative system. To clarify, in my country, Iran, some wide-ranging
issues
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,
such
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 as Inflation, sanctions, and even recession, that people are struggling with, which will result in many health
issues
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, not only mentally but
also
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 physically, since they have to work for long hours to meet their daily demands.
As a result
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, they do not have enough time to do their desired activities, like working out, travelling, going out with their friends, and loved ones.
Therefore
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, they are at risk of some mental disorder
due to
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 the amount of pressure that they have to carry every day. So, it is not a good idea for the government to place a high value on providing the
internet
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 for communities, rather than tackling
such
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 main
issues
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.
On the other hand
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, everybody has the right to benefit from a high standard of living, especially in
this
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 modern world. As technology develops, nothing remains untouched, and the needs of individuals are no exception. To clarify, nowadays, we are bombarded with a torrent of technological tools that have facilitated our lives in many aspects. Considering the
internet
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, it allows people to
access
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 many facilities, ranging from learning opportunities and health care facilities to shopping and job possibilities. If they do not have
access
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 to the
internet
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, they can not benefit from those standards of living.
Hence
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, having easy
access
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 to
such
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 devices is a must for everyone. In conclusion,
although
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 there are many global
issues
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 that have a lot of negative effects on people’s lives, it does not necessarily mean the authorities should ignore the modern demands of dwellers. In my view, everybody has the right to have
access
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 to the
internet
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, as it offers many advantages for them.

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organization
Put one main idea in each paragraph and start with a clear sentence.
development
Add reasons for each point and explain why it matters.
grammar
Use more simple words and short sentences; fix grammar.
examples
Give more precise examples and link them to the point.
stance
Clear view that internet access is a right.
balance
Notes both sides of the issue.
content
Gives a country example to add real life.
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