IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below gives information about how families in one coutry spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The given bar chart illustrates
expenditure
Correct article usage
the expenditure
show examples
 of weekly income of households in a specific region over the period 1968 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that in 1968, food was the highest
expense
Punctuation problem
expense,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 fuel and power ranked the lowest
Punctuation problem
. Moreover
show examples
moreover
Linking Words
, in 2018, spending money on leisure has dramatically
increased
Punctuation problem
increased,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 personal
goods
Use synonyms
 slightly declined. In detail, people spend 35
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of their weekly income on food ,
while
Linking Words
 fuel and power cost around 6
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, which remains the lowest expense since 1968. In 1968, household
goods
Use synonyms
, personal
goods
Use synonyms
 and transport costs remained steady , which was nearly 9 per cent during the time period. Household expenses for food had dramatically declined , which was around 18
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 people's expenditure rose significantly for housing in 2018
Punctuation problem
. Moreover
show examples
moreover
Linking Words
, fuel and power costs slightly declined by the time of 2018. Householders dropped expenses for clothing and footwear
personal
Punctuation problem
, personal
show examples
goods
Use synonyms
 by the time of 2018,
while
Linking Words
 household
goods
Use synonyms
 remained steady in both years.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words goods with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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