IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some
people
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 think that being a university graduate is the key to securing a good
job
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,
while
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 others think
experience
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 and soft
skills
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 are better. In my opinion, I believe that the former is essential for academic jobs,
while
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 the latter are more useful in business and related industries. On the one hand, many
people
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 think it is easy
find
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to find
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 good employment with an undergrad degree or above because it puts
people
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 one step ahead of other applicants, and can be the deciding factor between applicants.
Furthermore
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, certain career paths are not open to those without a higher level of education,
such
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 as jobs requiring academic or specialist knowledge, namely teachers, lecturers, doctors and lawyers. Not only that, but academia does promote the development of useful
skills
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, not just academic knowledge,
for
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example
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example,
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 analytical thinking, research
skills
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 and intellectual curiosity, which are valuable transferable
skills
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.
For
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this
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 reason, I believe that
in
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apply
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tertiary education offers an advantage mainly for those aiming for a professional or academic career.
On the other hand
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, having relevant work
experience
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 and soft
skills
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 can throw the balance in favour of the
job
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 applicant for certain types of work.
For instance
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, for a corporate management position, having
experience
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 of managing others, running projects, delegating tasks
and
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, and
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 strong emotional intelligence is of more importance than the theory of management with no real hands-on
experience
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 when fresh out of university.
Also
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, certain industries require interpersonal
skills
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 which can only be developed through extensive
experience
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 with
people
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,
such
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 as in customer service, hospitality and sales.
Consequently
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, it can be seen that tertiary education is no advantage at all in some areas. In conclusion, I think that securing a good
job
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 requires a relevant background specific to the career or
job
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 the applicant is applying for. Some positions will require an academic background, whilst others benefit more from
experience
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 and
skills
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.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first paragraph and restate it in the conclusion. Keep a consistent position.
coherence and structure
Build a clear plan. Put one main idea in each paragraph and finish with a short wrap up.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to show ideas link from one to the next (for example: also, but, in addition, therefore).
examples
Give more exact examples from real life or specific fields, not only general talk.
grammar
Fix grammar errors and take care with word form (for example: easily instead of easy, improve sentence flow).
accuracy
Check spelling and punctuation and keep sentences short when possible.
content strength
Clear view of how college and work skills can help in different jobs.
structure strength
The essay shows a real attempt to cover both sides.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • specialized training
  • networking
  • baseline requirement
  • financial burden
  • hands-on experience
  • practical skills
  • soft skills
  • dynamic job market
  • entrepreneur
  • formal education
  • portfolio
  • hybrid approach
What to do next:
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