IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the changes in three different areas of crime in Manchester city centre from 2003-2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The line graph illustrates changes in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
burglary
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,
car
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theft
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, and robbery incidents in the city of Manchester between 2003 and 2012.
Linking Words
Overall
Punctuation problem
Overall,
show examples
 it is evident that
burglary
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 experienced a significant decline over the
period
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,
car
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theft
Use synonyms
 showed a general upward trend, and robbery remained relatively stable.
Burglary
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 was the most common crime between 2003 and 2006,
whereas
Linking Words
car
Use synonyms
theft
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 became the most prevalent by the end of the
period
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. Looking at the details, there were 3,500
burglary
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cases
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 in 2003, and
then
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increased
Correct pronoun usage
they increased
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 slightly to about 3,750
cases
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 in 2004.
This
Linking Words
 figure
then
Linking Words
 dropped sharply, reaching a low of around 1,000 in 2008. In the following years, the
number
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 of burglaries increased moderately and remained relatively stable by the end of the
period
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. Regarding
car
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theft
Use synonyms
, the
number
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 of
cases
Use synonyms
 was lower than that of
burglary
Use synonyms
 at the beginning.
This
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 figure fluctuated slightly until 2008 and hit its lowest point, at around 2,000
cases
Use synonyms
 in 2006.
This
Linking Words
number
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 increased steadily to about 2,750 in 2012, making it the most common crime by the end of the
period
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. Robbery started as the least frequent crime, with only about 500
cases
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 in 2003.
This
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 doubled in 2005 but
then
Linking Words
feel
Use the right word
fell
show examples
 back to the same level as in 2003. In the subsequent years,
this
Linking Words
 figure remained relatively stable throughout the rest of the
period
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, burglary, car, theft, period, cases with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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