Home schooling belongs to the past and is unacceptable in the modern society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Use your knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

As technology develops, nothing remains untouched, and the way of education is no exception.
While
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some opine that homeschooling is a thing of the past, I strongly agree with
this
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viewpoint, as it allows students to improve their social skills.
Firstly
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, participating in teamwork plays a crucial role in improving personal growth among school-goers. To clarify, learning environments are full of many children from different backgrounds. If they have the chance to attend
such
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places with cultural diversity, they can get along well with a wide range of attitudes, unlike home places, which will result in increasing tolerance and peace among them. In
this
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way, they are more likely to be sociable at their workplace later.
Secondly
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, making friends goes a long way in preventing some mental disorders, like anxiety and depression. To clarify, nowadays, thanks to
this
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modern life, many families have become used to having only one child, since they can not fulfil their demands properly
due to
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the pressure of social media.
As a result
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, going to learning institutions allows pupils to build relationships with like-minded individuals, which not only leads to making their life much more meaningful, because they have a sense of belonging to a specific group, but
also
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they can change their mood by having quality time with their friends, which stops them from overthinking and getting depressed by being alone. In conclusion, underestimating the importance of the school's atmosphere in guiding schoolchildren to become a good version of themselves is not logical. In my view,
such
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places influence children much more positively than being beside parents, since they are able to socialise with their peers and foster the true version of themselves.

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Task Response
State your position clearly in the introduction and keep it consistent throughout the essay.
Task Response
Support your main ideas with more specific examples and explain how they lead to your conclusion.
Coherence
Make ideas flow better with clear linking words and topic sentences.
Coherence
Develop each paragraph with one main point and keep details relevant.
Language
Check grammar and use simple, correct sentences; avoid long or complex phrases.
Strength
Clear stance and easy-to-follow argument.
Strength
Good basic structure with introduction, body, and conclusion.
Strength
Some use of linking words to connect ideas.
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