IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Doctors in many countries are saying that people are not getting enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this and how it can be addresses?

It is considered by many doctors that individuals in multiple nations are not performing physical
activities
Use synonyms
 regularly. In
this
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 essay, we will delve into
this
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 issue and provide suitable solutions. One of the main reasons why humans do not
exercise
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 much is the lack of fitted places to perform these kinds of
activities
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. People do not have access to suitable
areas
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 if they want to perform physical
activities
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, so they prefer not to do that.
This
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 is because humans need to make a substantial effort in order to
exercise
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, so they have to find
areas
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 that allow them to do so. Another significant reason is the absence of public awareness about the upsides of performing exercises. Many individuals are not aware of how beneficial performing physical
activities
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 is, so they ignore those kinds of
activities
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. To give an illustration, in Egypt, the government found out that
areas
Use synonyms
 with fitness ads tend to be a good environment for people to perform physical
activities
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. To address
this
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 obstacle , several measures could be implemented. The most significant one is
officials
Correct word choice
that officials
show examples
 should provide
areas
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 in each district for citizens to
exercise
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, and these
areas
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 must be free of any charges.
This
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 will lead to more human beings who are willing to
exercise
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. Another important solution is
executives
Correct word choice
that executives
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 need to raise community awareness about the benefits of performing exercises.
This
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 can be done through campaigns that focus on depicting healthy people
while
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 exercising.
This
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 will lead to a significant increase in the number of human beings who are eager to perform exercises.
To conclude
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, physicians in several countries are saying that individuals do not perform sufficient physical activity. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, we discuss
this
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 issue and give solutions to it.

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task response
Plan your answer with a clear map: first give the cause, then the effect, then the fix. Use one idea per paragraph.
task response
Add small facts or real proof for each point to back up ideas.
coherence
Use simple links to move ideas: for example first, also, then, but, for example.
coherence
Check grammar and word choice to be clear and easy to read.
development
The writer shows a plan with cause and fix.
example
It uses a real place, Egypt, to show a point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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