IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given bar diagram illustrates the total
number
Use synonyms
 of adults
participated
Wrong verb form
participating
show examples
 in
mojor
Correct your spelling
major
 sports in 1997 and 2017 in one area.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
tennis
Use synonyms
 was the most popular game in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
years,
while
Linking Words
 basketball was the sport with
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
participants
Use synonyms
 in 1997.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
basket ball
Use the right word
basketball
show examples
 was
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second position in 1997, it ranked as the
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
 with
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 adult participation in 2007. In 1997, the most popular game choice among adults was
tennis
Use synonyms
 with fifty thousand
Use synonyms
number of
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
participants
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
basket ball
Use the right word
basketball
show examples
 was the game with
lesser
Correct word choice
a smaller
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
participants
Use synonyms
, with almost 5 times lesser
number
Use synonyms
 of
participants
Use synonyms
 than that of
tennis
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, swimming was the one with
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
participants
Use synonyms
, and rugby, football and golf followed the
number
Use synonyms
 very closely. In 2017,
tennis
Use synonyms
 maintained the first position with an
increse
Correct your spelling
increase
 of five thousand
Use synonyms
number of
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
players
Use synonyms
. Football and rugby showed significant increase in the
number
Use synonyms
 of adult
players
Use synonyms
 approching fifty thousand as the
number
Use synonyms
 of
players
Use synonyms
. Swimming maintained the same
number
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of golf
players
Use synonyms
 varied marginally.
Also
Linking Words
, it is worth taking note that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of cricket
players
Use synonyms
 dropped dramatically
around
Change preposition
by around
show examples
 5 times than that of 1997,
while
Linking Words
 basketball
players
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
number
Check wording
apply
show examples
doubled.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, tennis, participants, players with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 11 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rate
  • increase/decrease in numbers
  • trend
  • decade
  • relatively stable
  • major sports
  • potential reasons
  • contributing factors
  • public interest
  • comparison
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